It Is What It Is: The Real Modern Stoic Philosophy

I spent a good deal of time this evening talking to my family about the common phrase these days “It is what it is.” People in my family had differing views about both what the phrase means and whether they like it.

I used to dislike the phrase “It is what it is.” If you don’t like it, I feel you.

However, upon reflecting on what it actually means, I’ve become fond of it. It’s a bit Stoic, if you think about it.

In essence, one is saying that there are circumstances that one may feel one way or another about, but, well, it is what it is. You live and accept those circumstances and, in a way, are indifferent to them.

This phrase, which I confess to have been using a bit recently, reflects my current philosophy in life, which I take to be pretty much modern Stoicism.

So add the phrase “It is what it is” to your daily Stoic philosophy quotes.

For Native Americans, The Injustice Is Not Historic

Back in grad school, I had to read the paper Superseding Historic Injustice by Jeremy Waldron. Many people in my class felt off the hook when it came to injustices after that paper. And some of them mentioned injustice toward Native Americans.

Others (like Steve Russell, in Sequoyah Rising) have taken Waldron to task.

For me–and, I assume, for Native people–this is not some simply some interesting philosophical problem. This is real life. And, no, we (non-Indians) shouldn’t feel off the hook.

There’s a problem that many scholars have discussed. They talk about how, many times, Native Americans and their injustices are all just history. Perhaps a bad and tragic history, but history nonetheless.

I’m here to tell you that’s not so.

Don’t fall for that narrative because it erases Native people and their current struggles. The fact is, colonization began. And indigenous people have not yet been liberated. It’s simply a fact that the United States controls aspects of their governments. And that’s exactly what colonialism is.

So, sure, talk about historic injustice all you want. But, until decolonization happens, Native people are in fact still being colonized by the United States.

I Don’t Want Native Americans To Fight For Their Rights

My government, the United States, is a colonial government. Period. End of story.

I was born here and through friendship, love and learning realized I occupy a colonizer space in life. Funny how.

I know much of the history of colonialism. And I know that in order to gain liberation, colonized people often protest, have massive demonstrations, fast, pray. Often these things work.

That’s why Steve Russell has argued in his book Sequoyah Rising that Native Americans, if they want liberation, must engage in militant nonviolence, of the Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr variety.

I know how this goes. It may work to gain liberation, but it comes at a cost. Colonized people are beaten, thrown in jail, tortured, murdered–until the colonizer breaks down and liberates the people.

It’s not pretty.

It’s especially not pretty when you consider the history of Native Americans. After an attrition rate of around 99% due to genocide (among other evils), do you really want to see Native Americans treated this way by our government? I certainly don’t. I never did.

There has got to be a way to end colonization without Native Americans engaging in anything more than talking with us. That’s how I came to realize my colonizer space, after all. Through talking, discussion and reading.

I deeply admire Steve Russell and I know for sure his strategy would work. I want to end colonialism, but I don’t want the people I love to be treated this horrific way by my government in order to get there. (Setting aside the fact that they are already treated poorly in general.)

If you are a Euroamerican, I implore you to not let this happen. There must be a way we can start decolonization–even apart from our government, at this point–without Native Americans going through what Gandhi or Martin Luther King Jr went through.


J. LAWSON THESIS (Stetson University, 2004, Citations Omitted): “The More Freely He Breathes: Colonialism In The United States”

Author’s Note (6/14/2018):This thesis has cause me a lot of trouble–mostly, I think, at this point, trouble in my own mind. Since writing it I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia. Even though this thesis is now over 10 years old, it lurks in the back of my mind as one of the most subversive things I have done. At the time I wrote it, I cared nothing–nothing–about my own preservation or the preservation of the United States. I only sought what was just. As time went on, I had to leave professional philosophy due to illness and met and associated with many people. I have been extremely paranoid over the years that I am being watched, tracked, followed, spied on and, sometimes, even threatened due to this thesis. Maybe it’s all in my head, like the doctor’s say. At any rate, I thought I’d make this thesis publicly available to anyone who’d like to read it.





“Having found profit either by accident or by choice, the colonizer has nevertheless not yet become aware of the historic role which will be his. He is lacking one step in understanding his new status; he must also understand the origin and significance of his profit. […] For how long could he fail to see the misery of the colonized and the relation of that misery to his own comfort? […]

He finds himself on one side of the scale, the other side of which bears the colonized man. If his living standards are high, it is because those of the colonized are low; if he can benefit from plentiful and undemanding labor and servants, it is because the colonized can be exploited at will and are not protected by the laws of the colony; if he can easily obtain an administrative position, it is because they are reserved for him and the colonized are excluded from them; the more freely he breathes, the more the colonized are choked. […]

Once [the colonizer] has discovered the import of colonization and is conscious of his own position…is he going to accept them? Will he agree to be a privileged man, and to underscore the distress of the colonized? Will he be a usurper and affirm the oppression and injustice to the true inhabitant of the colony? Will he accept being a colonizer under the growing habit of privilege and illegitimacy, under the constant gaze of the usurped?”

–Albert Memmi, The Colonizer and the Colonized

“It is better to be consigned to hell than to stand around waiting for a time when everyone will like what we are going to say.”

–Martha Nussbaum (paraphrased), Sex and Social Justice


“A foreigner, having come to a land by the accidents of history, he has succeeded not merely in creating a place for himself but also in taking away that of the inhabitant, granting himself astounding privileges to the detriment of those rightfully entitled to them.”

–Albert Memmi, The Colonizer and the Colonized.

In this thesis, I will argue that the primary mode of the oppression of Native Americans, both historically and contemporarily, is colonialism. Using history and philosophy, I will show that Native Americans (and all indigenous people of this hemisphere, for that matter) have been colonized nations for hundreds of years. While doing this, it will be necessary for me to explain what I take colonialism to be and draw lout definitions, such as the definition of ‘nation.’ After arguing that it is colonialism which has and continues to oppress Indians, I will use Martha Nussbaum’s capabilities approach to social justice in order to show that colonialism is unjust. Following this discussion, I will propose that decolonization is the goal to reach for so that Indians can have flourishing, human lives.

For those who are unfamiliar with Indian history, many things I have to say may shock you. Much of the history we learn in our schools has been told over and over from the European/Euroamerican point of view. But the story of history is not the story of one person or peoples. It is all our stories together. Just as we cannot, with any accuracy, tell U.S. history while excluding African Americans, women and children, we cannot purport to speak U.S. history while excluding Native Americans. After all, this was and is their land since the beginning of time–this is what it means to be indigenous peoples. It is not merely that Native Americans were here before those of us who are non-Indian, it is that they were always here. We can have no idea as to how the U.S. came to be anything at all–let alone what it is today–without profoundly considering Indian history. And we cannot understand how Indians got to be where they are without thinking about our nation’s past and present.

Considering that my topic is primarily about victimization of Native Americans, it is important to remember that Native Americans are not and have not been merely victims of Europeans and Euroamericans. We must bear in mind that indigenous people have been and continue to be subjective beings–actors in their own lives, They have wants, needs, loves and hates. They laugh (a lot!) and they mourn. They regret and they imagine. They make meaningful bonds with people and their environments. They stand up in large or small ways to fight for themselves and the people and things they care for. And they do this despite the persecution and hundreds of years of subjugation I will discuss. Remember when you read that Indians are not pitiable beings, they are human beings.

Non-Indian readers should be aware that seeing Indians as pitiable is condescending, arrogant and, at best, only moves the pity-holder to do something more or less charitable ‘out of obligation’. It does not, however, demand justice as it would if it was understood that Indians are human beings just as the reader is human. Consider the following passage by philosophers M. Lugones and E. Spelman:

“[C]oming into Hispanic, Black, Native America worlds out of obligation puts white/Anglos in an orally self-righteous position that is inappropriate. You are active, we are passive. We become vehicles of your own redemption. Secondly, we couldn’t want you to come into our worlds ‘out of obligation.’ That is like wanting someone to make love to you out of obligation.

Out of obligation you should stay out of our way, respect us and our distance, and forego the power you have over us–for example, the power to use your language in our meetings, the power to overwhelm us with your education, the power to intrude in our communities in order to research us and to record the supposed dying of our cultures, the power to ingrain in us a sense that we are members of dying cultures and are doomed to assimilate, the power to keep us in a defensive posture with respect to our own cultures.”

Further, Lugones and Spelman argue that the motive of friendship (and I would add, “and/or love”) is a better posture to be in if we, Euroamericans, are going to have discourse with People of Color:

” I see the ‘out of friendhip’ as the only sensical motivation for this because the task at hand for you [white/Aglo] is one of extraordinary difficulty. It requires you be willing…to suffer alienation and self-disruption. […]

If you enter the task out of friendship with us, then you will be moved to attain the appropriate reciprocity of care for your and our wellbeing, as whole beings, you will have a stake in us and our world…”

I am a non-Indian, a student of western philosophy and the mother of a Choctaw girl. It is my goal to make a positive contribution to the dialogue American Indians have going about their past, present and future. I am writing this paper out of love and profound friendship and I hope that the reader will assume a posture of friendship as s/he reads on.

May the reader understand that I am not an expert or specialist on many of the things I will write about in this paper. I do not speak for anyone but myself. what I speak is my understanding of works by Native scholars and artists that I have been exposed to as well as personal stories I have heard. I recognize that my life experiences and my cultural upbringing are such that I may not be as perceptive to certain issues as American Indians are. Moreover, my way of explaining my ideas and the philosophic foundations I will stand on are primarily from my western philosophical training and cultural background. Indians may explain things in different ways than I will. I expect more of this to happen and I look forward to it greatly.


“It is understandable that the average intelligent non-Indian American is uninformed about Indian [or Alaska native] affairs. It never gets into the books on general history.”

–Angie Debo, A History of the Indians of the United States

American Indians experience more extreme poverty than any other population sector in the United States–the type of poverty usually related to the “Third World.” As a result (or perhaps, associated with this) life expectancy for American Indians is about thirty years less than Anglo-Americans, male or female. American Indians have the highest “rates of malnutrition, plague disease, death by exposure, infant mortality, and teen suicide of any group on the continent.” Native American families have excessive rates of learned helplessness, violence, dependence, alcoholism “and the breakdown of values correlated with healthy living.”

When a person is confronted with the aforementioned data and honestly understands that these are not just numbers but actual people–mothers, aunts, nephews–I believe that many are able to discern that something is definitely wrong. But without knowing the historic antecedents that led to these conditions, concerned people may not give the right sort of help. Perhaps even worse, whatever lead to these conditions may continue to occur if we do not learn from past wrongs and take necessary steps to make reparations and not repeat past mistakes.

Following George Santayana’s famous quote that those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it, M. Annette Jaimes explains that the matter of understanding these historic link is of great importance “…not merely as some abstract exercise is seeking “Truth,” but because the nature of the past interactions between Euroamericans and American Indians within what is now the United States serves to define the facts of their present relationship.”

American Indian history is as diverse and intricate as any other history. I cannot possibly cover everything in this paper. There will be a lot I have to leave out because of space and because I am not adequately acquainted with the oral histories of any tribe. Acknowledging this fact, I will now set out to roughly describe some of the general qualities of American Indians and Europeans based on history so we can get an idea of how American Indians got to be where they are today and how the United States got to be, arguably, the most powerful nation on the planet today.

I will begin by painting a portrait of Europeans prior to and during the invasion of what is now known as the Americas. I know it is not completely accurate to lump all Europeans together. The French were different than the English. Moreover, not all French people were the same. But it is my belief that there were commonalities shared between European individuals and nations that were not shared by indigenous nations. There are philosophies, politics, economics, social practices and religions held in common.

Following my outline of Europeans, I will then paint a portrait of American Indians prior to and during the early invasion and colonial period. As with Europeans, it is not perfectly correct to lump all Indians together. But there are certain things Indian nations shared to a degree. Therefore I think it is reasonable for me to do this as long as the reader and I both understand I am making broad generalizations.

These portraits will, I hope, give us a workable backdrop to the arguments that will come later in this paper. It will help us link yesterday to today.


“A significant thing: it is not the head of civilization that beings to rot first. It is the heart.”

–Aime Ceasire, Discourse on Colonialism

“I implore you to recognize the Church as a lady and in the name of the Pope take the King as lord of this land and obey his mandates. If you do not do it, I tell you that with the help of God I will enter powerfully against you all. I will make war everywhere and everyway I can. I will subject you to the yoke and obedience to the Church and to his majesty. I will take your women and children and make them slaves…The deaths and injuries that you will receive from here on will be your own fault and not that of his majesty nor of the gentlemen that accompany me.”

From The Requirement of 1513

When Christopher Columbus made his infamous trip which lead to the invasion and subordination of what is now known as the Caribbean Islands circa 1492, The Requirement (part of which is printed above in translation) was read, usually in Spanish, to people who didn’t understand Spanish.

An updated and shortened version of The Requirement may go something like this: You must convert to Christianity and take our Monarch as your ruler. If you don’t, we will brutally devastate you and your loved ones and we won’t lose any sleep over it. It will be entirely your own fault if we enslave you or murder you. Consider this your warning.

Columbus and his men eventually slaughtered, tortured and enslaved millions of indigenous people. Within 46 years the Taino population went from around eight million to an official count of 200.

Back in the Eastern hemisphere, Europe was ending the Renaissance and heading toward Reformation. Capitalism was on the rise. It would be 267 years before Mary Wollstonecraft was born and would later argue that the mind has no sex and therefore women have the ability to reason. Wollstonecraft was met with vicious backlash. Male philosophers criticized her by calling her a “philosophizing serpent” and a ‘hyena in petticoats.”

When we look back, the word “hierarchical” seems to be a very appropriate descriptor of Europe. And, as Devon Mihesuah explains, the European invaders were no exception to this:

“European colonists were influenced by Renaissance ideologies, notably the concept of the “Great Chain of Being,” that everything in the universe should be in order (i.e., the God is at the top of the hierarchy, with Hell and chaos at the bottom, or, in politics, the king at the top and peasants are at the bottom). Natives needed to be placed within this order, and generally, they were seen as inferior and therefore positioned at a low rung on the ladder of civilization.”

Western philosophers and scientists were seeking objectivity and “Truth.” Descartes would soon be engaging in his Cartesian doubt and coming to clear and distinct ideas. He would attempt to defeat skepticism and have completely certain knowledge through his conception of God. Western scientists were making technological advances and learning more about the solar system while hiding from the church when necessary. And imperialism was in the air.

I have no doubt that individual persons and cultures can empathize with each other and think of one another’s needs and wants. I consider our capacities to have compassion and to imagine another persons’ position some of our greatest abilities. Yet, maybe everyone to a certain degree is egocentric, that is, self-centered. Likewise, it’s probable that every distinct culture is ethnocentric–centered around it’s own ethnicity or nation. I know this may not be an accepted thing to say, but it seems true and perhaps unavoidable. It seems that Europe, during the Renaissance and Reformation, was ripe with ethnocentricism and imperialism and had made certain advances which would make it possible to extend social, economic and political power abroad to what we now call the United States, Mexico and Canada, just to name a few.

Imperialism, the process of one nation forcefully extending power over another sovereign for the gain of the dominate nation, was not new to Europe. It had been practiced more of less inside of what we now call Europe for quite some time.

And within this context, it came that Europeans began “[B]ringing European religion to people who already had religion and European law to people who already had law.”

Today, over 500 years after Columbus, he is widely considered to be a cultural hero, a brave explorer who “discovered the New World” and, as a child of Europe, the United States still has a national day which celebrates him and his legacy. Native Americans, on the other hand, generally consider him to be on par with Hitler and I am of the same mind.


Western historical experiences are not…the standard by which human experiences should be gauged. For every religious fanatic who saw in God the Father a justification for putting pagans to the sword, there were other peoples, particularly American Indians, who experienced God as Grandfather, who could not conceive of committing violence because of religious differences.”

–Vine Deloria Jr, Circling the Same Old Rock

We never quarrel about religion.

–Red Jacket

The two quotes above reflect American Indians ideas about religious tolerance. As opposed to European ideas–and perceived mission in many cases–of converting people to Christianity, Natives typically had no problem holding steadfastly to their own beliefs while existing beside people with different religious viewpoints. Every tribe had (and has) its own distinct religion. American Indians didn’t find it necessary to convert other people to their belief system and seemed to live satisfactorily with spiritual difference.

Prior to European invasion, “[m]ost tribes were egalitarian societies…unlike the stratified societies in Europe’s, among tribes, each sex had its own decision-making powers.” As Priscilla K. Buffalohead tells us, “[W]e stem from egalitarian cultural traditions. These traditions are concerned less with the equality of the sexes and more with the dignity of the individual and their inherent right–whether they be women, men or children–to make their own choices and decisions.” A large number of tribes were democratic and tribal citizens would openly discuss and vote on things of concern to the community. Even in those tribes where women didn’t typically attend council and vote, they wielded considerable power over political and economic decision making.

Many tribes lived communally. To be exact, inside indigenous nations, land was not split up in plots or parcels for individual ownership. As I understand it, land was seen as either belonging to the Creator or held in common by all members of the nation. In the case of the Choctaws, Elder Charley Jones explains, “The Choctaws had the concept of land ownership–everything belonged to the Great Spirit and [the] Choctaw was just a steward of the land.” The European notion of individual property ownership and the idea of buying and selling land was, to paraphrase Tecumseh, as ridiculous as owning clouds in the air.

Warfare among indigenous people before the invasion was usually very different than European warfare. As Tom Holm elaborates:

 [W]hile traditional Native Americans avidly pursued “war” as an honorable activity, it was a form of war so radically different from that developed in Europe as to be of an entirely different genus. Not only were there no wars of annihilation fought in North America prior to the coming of Europeans…but the purpose of war seems to have been…something altogether different from killing…

Honor accrued in cultures solely on the basis of personal bravery. The best-known example is the practice of “counting coup”…In a way, the whole thing was rigged to keep enemies alive in order that the contest might continue perpetually.”

Other ways of dealing with inter-tribal disputes was to engage in game playing such as stickball. In fact, indigenous was much more like European contact sports than war practiced by Europeans. Women were not barred from warfare or game playing in Native cultures, although they did engage in it less than mean. However, women were apt to fight in battles once there was a great need to defend themselves against invaders who did intend to kill them.


I have given a brief picture of the American Indians and the Europeans during the invasion and early colonial period. In this section, I will discuss what I believe colonialism to be and show that how it happened in what we know as the United States.

In general, colonialism is said to happen when a nation directly and as a matter of open policy acquires, controls and maintains control over a foreign nation. This control is power over the social, economic and political life of the other nation and, hence, over individual members of the colonized nation.

Yet, in the international community, “colonialism can properly (and legally) said to exist if, and only if, one nation directly and as a matter of open policy dominates the social, economic, and political life of another nation from which it is separated by at  least 30 miles of open water.” This stipulation that the two nations must be separated by 30 miles of open water is known as the “Blue Water Thesis”.

While the international definition of colonialism does explain historic empires, such as France and Spain, scholars have argued that the Blue Water Thesis is arbitrary at best and have discussed different definitions of and forms of colonialism since at least 1966.

The Blue Water Thesis is said to be arbitrary because it seems strange to say that if there are to contiguous nations and one extents power over the other in an otherwise colonial manner, it is not colonialism because they are neighboring nations. Rather, in the international custom, the would-be colonized is now a “minority’ of the would-be colonizer. On the other hand, if they were separated by 30 miles of open water, it would be colonialism.

For a historic example, let us consider the occasion that Germany invaded Poland in 1939. Both Germany and Poland are said to be nations. They are also contiguous. When Germany entered Poland by force and controlled it, people of the world considered this to be a colonialist act. Poland was seen to have the right to be liberated from German control. Polish people were not, by and large, seen as now being a “minority” of Germany.

With cases like German control of Poland in mind, thinkers began to offer different accounts of colonialism which attempt to describe phenomenon which occurs in the world. I will discuss two of these: classic colonialism and setter state colonialism. In addition to this, I will argue that American Indian nations are colonized in the settler state manner.

Classic colonialism is when a nation sends colonizers out and sets up colonies within the subordinated nation. The two nations–colonizer and colonized–are separated by at least 30 miles of open water. The colonizers still remain citizens of their motherland and consider it their home. An example of this which the reader may be familiar with is British rule over India.

Settler state colonialism is characterized by populations of people leaving their homelands to subordinate nations elsewhere. The people occupy and control the colonized lands on behalf of the mother country. The colonizers within the colony, for one reason or another, consider themselves less and less connected to their motherland. They eventually rebel against it. In this revolt, the colonists break away from the mother country and begin to set up their own independent nation while they continue to colonize the original inhabitants of the land. The emphasis in describing settler state colonialism is the aspect of settlers forming a nation which colonizes the original inhabitants of the land.

In history, we can see how settler state colonialism happened here in what is now the United States. At first, many European nations sent people out to claim land, find gold, establish trade relationships, capture slaves and set up colonies. For what would become America, the ‘thirteen original colonies; were, more or less, the beginning of what we now call America. During the time of the thirteen colonies, Natives of the region were being colonized in the classic manner. But when Americans revolted against Britain and won the war for independence, the Americans began colonizing indigenous people in the settler state manner. Steve Russell illustrates that the European colonizers:

“[H]ad come to look upon North America as home and upon themselves as the colonized rather than colonizers. The exploitation of indigenous people as a violation of the very same fundamental rights of human beings that the colonists claimed for themselves was not within the revolutionary consciousness of the revolution. They either held the truth to be self-evident that only some people were created equal, or it escaped their notice that the original inhabitants of North America were people.”

In addition to American Indians, many other people are or have been colonized in the settler state manner. As Ward Churchill points out, this variety of colonialism oppresses or has oppressed (in the case of South Africa) “the Inuits and Native Hawaiians in the United States and Canada, as well as much of Latin America” in addition to “Northern Ireland, South Africa, Australia, New Zealand, and Isreal.”


If we take the general definition of colonialism as “one nation directly and as a matter of open policy acquires, controls and maintains control over a foreign nation”, objections may be raised concerning whether or not indigenous nations are nations as such. Historically, American Indians have said to belong to tribes rather than nations or peoples. Because of the European/Euroamerican perception of Native Americans as inferior and primitive, the term ‘tribe’ has often been used to describe the hundreds of distinct groups of Native people.

Naming in an important aspect of domination and “Once named, for the convenience of colonial rulers, [Native Americans’ were fixed as tribes, whatever their own sense of group identity or culture and social organization might be.” Scholars have realized that they were incorrect in using the term ‘tribe’ as if it did not mean the same thing as ‘nation’ or ‘peoples’. Many indigenous people today feel comfortable referring to the social/political group they belong to as a ‘tribe’. Yet, for many non-Indians this term conjures up images of ‘primitiveness’.

I will now put forth a definition of ‘nation’ from a combination of John Stuart Mill’s assertions in his Considerations on Representative Government, John Rawls’ concurrence with Mill in his Law of Peoples, and Ward Churchill’s Struggle for the Land. Following this definition is, I think, what we usually mean when we deem a group of people a nation or making up a nationality.

The term nation as it is typically used  means roughly:

A group of people, population independent, who are bound together by a common language, common culture and what J.S. Mill calls “common sympathies which do not exist between them and any other people.” Moreover, these people usually, but don’t always, have a common religion. The people reside in a certain location having a defined or definable land base. They can and do provide for themselves economically, but they can also trade with other nations. The people desire to be under the same government and evidence that desire by governing themselves. Lastly, these people share a collective historic consciousness, shared sense of pride and express similar emotions connected with historic events.

If we take this as the definition of ‘nation’ and look back at tribes of American Indians before the European invasion, we can see that American Indian nations were nations as such. They had every characteristic of what we call a nation at the time invasion began. After European nations set up colonies on the western hemisphere, Native nations became colonized nations and remain so today.


“I am talking about societies drained of their essence, cultures trampled underfoot, institutions undermined, lands confiscated, religions smashed, magnificent artistic creations destroyed, extraordinary possibilities wiped out…I am talking about million of [people] torn form their gods, their land, their habits, their life–from life, from dance, from wisdom.”

–Aime Cesaire, Discourse on Colonialism

John-Paul Sartre has referred to colonialism as an economic system. This is because colonizing nations have usually undertaken the task of colonized people and their native institutions for the economic gain of the colonizers. Historically, colonizers have forced colonized people to work for grotesquely unfair wages and have often made literal slaves of them. Colonizers have also been preoccupied with finding wealth for themselves that is contained in/on the land which colonized people live on (gold, timber, minerals etc.) or the land itself.

It is my opinion that any reasonable and sane person will understand that colonialism is unjust after understanding what colonialism is and recognizing that the colonized individuals are human beings. I also believe that many ethical theories and theories of justice could show that colonialism is morally repugnant. However, for this nest section, I will apply a theory of social justice put forth by Martha Nussbaum in order to show that colonialism is unjust. I will first describe her capabilities approach to social justice and then apply it to colonialism.

Martha Nussbaum explains her approach to social justice as a capabilities approach. She gives a tentitive, empirically based list of capabilities which all people should be able to choose to whether or not to exercise, without going through more trouble than other people, in order to have flourishing human lives. It is important to emphasize that Nussbaum intends the items on the list to be capabilities as opposed to functionalities. In particular, everyone should have the capability to enjoy any or all of the items on the list, but by no means has to.

To better understand the relation between capabilities and functionalities, let us consider one of Nussbaum’s own examples so we can grasp her conception. In item two on her list (Bodily health and integrity) Nussbaum includes the provision that everyone should be able to be adequately nourished without going through more trouble than other members of society. However, a person does not have to consume food. A particularly religious person may opt to fast and this, under her approach, is perfectly fine. And, as Nussbaum notes, it is the ability to have food but denying it that gives fasting its moral value.

Each person should have the capability to perform an assortment of vital functions. The focus here is that everyone should be able to be treated as a free, dignified being–a maker of choices–and able to create a life for his or herself and not have the flourishing of that life blighted by such things as inadequate nourishment or overwhelming fear.

The list itself is intended to answer questions such as, “[W]hat do we believe must be there, is we are going to acknowledge that a given life is human?”, “What activities characteristically performed by humans are so central that they seem definitive of a life that is truly human? In other words, what are the functions without which…we would regard a life as not, or not fully, human?”

The capabilities on her list are cultural universals. It should be noted that Nussbaum see her cultural universals as metaphysically agnostic. In other words, these things could be fixed in the nature of things in a platonic fashion or not. It stands to reason that people from all over the world, from different traditions, nations and cultures will be able to agree on a list such as this one. And this wide acceptance is the goal of her list. As Nussbaum explains: “[T]he point of the list is…to put forward something that people from many different traditions, with many different conceptions of the good, can agree on, as the necessary basis for pursuing their good life.”

Nussbaum intends her list to be humble and open-ended. I would like to keep the integrity of the humbleness as I transfer it to my paper. Further, no one item on the list is more or less important than another and “[a] life that lacks any one of these capabilities, no matter what else it has, will fall short of being a good human life.” (See Appendix I for Nussbaum’s List of Capabilities)

Colonialism is an institution such that every item on Nussbaum’s list is under attack. After all, the definition of colonialism is one nation controlling the social, political and economic life of the other nation. This, in effect, leaves the colonized people at the mercy of the will and whim of the colonizers. I will now give examples to show this. My discussions below are not intended to be extensive analyses of colonialism or the unjust experiences of American Indians, but rather they are specific points we can look at to show colonialism is unjust.


I know that many Euroamericans cleave to images of American Indians that are thoroughly dehumanizing. Because of these images, Indians are not treated as dignified human beings by non-Indians. Colonialism presupposes that the colonizers think themselves to be superior to the colonized and this superior/inferior dichotomy is necessary to keep colonialism going.

Indigenous people have hardly been recognized as human beings by Europeans and Euroamericans. Thus, we have grown used to seeing Natives as less than human, as non-human. Aime Cesaire says that “the colonizer, in order to ease his conscious gets into the habit of seeing the other man as an animal, accustoms himself to treating him as an animal…” Likewise Vine Deloria Jr. has mentioned that, while African Americans were seen as draft animals, Indians were seen as wild animals. Native Americans have been and still are thought of as savage, primitive, stoic, backward, lazy and stupid.

If we recall the Great Chain of Being where Natives were placed on a lower rung of civilization, we can see that these inferior images of indigenous people made their way into western philosophic works such as that of Locke, Hobbes and Rousseau. Natives, whether they were portrayed as noble savages or lawless savages were seen as not having ‘civilization’. They were/are thought to be less complex, less perfect and somehow evolutionarily prior to Europeans.

This perceived inferiority resulting in the dehumanization of colonized people in common in colonialism. Albert Memmi describes that in the eyes of the colonizer, “all the qualities which make a man of the colonized crumble away. The humanity of the colonized, rejected by the colonizer, becomes opaque. […] What is left of the colonized at the end of this stubborn effort to dehumanize him? […] He is hardly a human being. He tends rapidly toward becoming an object. […] One does not have a serious obligation toward an animal or an object.”

We should ask what effects these images have and the less-than-human treatment of American Indians have had on Indians themselves. To be sure, they are varied. I have heard, from personal testimony, feelings of overwhelming fear, self-hatred, anger and much more. As one American Indian told me, “Sometimes, if I am in a room full of white people, I panic. I know they don’t think I’m like them. You know, a person. But I am a person.” Further, consider the narrative by Paula Gunn Allen describing some of the contemporary effects of dehumanization on Indians:

“All but overwhelmed by ubiquitous redefinitions of ourselves and our sense of reality, one tries to write. To think. To get some kind of clarity about almost anything. One tries to function. To stay sober, to stay connected with the deeper stratum of being that is one’s identity, or one’s tradition, one’s very perception and consciousness. All too often, one gives up. Drops out of school. Flunks too many courses. Quits too many jobs. Gives in to all-pervading despair, to the murderous thoughts the whole white world projects daily, hourly, year after year. One gives up and lies down and dies. […]

Small wonder that far too many Native people, especially children, are suicidal. It is not that we possess a death wish but that the huge culture around us projects a homicidal wish on us.”

On Martha Nussbaum’s list of capabilities (Item 7, B), she notes that everyone should be able to have “the social bases of self-resepect and nonhumiliation” and to be “able to be treated as a dignified being, whose worth is equal to that of others.” Under colonialism, citizens of the colonized nation are not treated as dignified beings. They are constantly humiliated by the subservient positions their colonizers force them into, non-human treatment as well as the images and descriptions of them as made by the colonizers.


Nussbaum points out in item ten on her list that all individuals should be “able to participate effectively in political choices that govern ones life.” When a colonizing nation controls the political, economic and social features of the colonized nation, none of the members of the colonized can, or can effectively, exercise the aforementioned capability. The colonizer, therefore, institutes policies which effect the colonized people, but the colonized people have no real choice in the matter. Because colonized people have no (or very little) political influence, they cannot shape and adapt institutions to their needs. For American Indians today, M. Anette Jaimes points out that:

“[O]ur ability to favorably alter [the conditions we live in] is drastically curtailed by the imposition of a federal order…that has “legally” supplanted our traditional forms of governance, outlawed out languages and spirituality, manipulated out numbers and identity, usurped our cultural integrity, viciously repressed the leaders of our efforts to regain self-determination, and systematically miseducated the bulk of our youth to believe that all this is, if not just, at least inevitable.”


I have just explained that colonized people have little to no say in the politics which govern their lives. I will now describe some policies colonizers actually institute.


Genocide is generally known as the act of exterminating, or attempting to exterminate, a national, racial, ethnic or religious group in its entirety. John-Paul Sartre points out that “Colonization cannot take place without systematically liquidating all the characteristics of the native society…” To be more explicit, wherever there is colonialism, there is always genocide. Sartre goes on to say that cultural genocide is also associated with colonialism: “For the subject people this inevitably means the extinction of their national character, culture, customs, sometimes even their language.”

Horrifically, there are abundant examples of the genocide, actual or attempted, of American Indians from the time Europeans began their invasion to the modern day. In fact, is has been said that the scope and duration of the genocide experienced by indigenous peoples of North America is unparalleled in recorded human history, with an attrition rate of about 99% since colonization began. From the infamous delivery of smallpox infested blankets ordered by Gen. Jeffery Amherst in hopes that the resulting outbreak would “extirpate this execrable race”, to the alleged order by Col. John M. Chivington to “kill them all, big and small, nits make lice.” In more recent years (late 1960’s to early 1970’s), indigenous women and girls have been subjected to surgical sterilization without their knowledge or consent. In a 1974 study, it was estimated that forty-two percent of Indian females of childbearing age had been sterilized this way. The obvious attempt was that no more Indian babies would be born. Not only was this U.S. policy an act of genocide, it also violates Nussbaum’s item two (being able to have reproductive health) as well as three (having choice in matters of reproduction. Genocide is unmistakably unjust according to Nussbaum’s list (see item One–Life–on her list). As Gabriel Horn aptly puts it:

“I know that genocide remains the most perverse human act. It eradicates entire peoples. It annihilates whole cultures. It rips beauty, wisdom, and understanding from the world and robs people of identity. Thus, when it comes to the act of genocide, I also know there can be no alternative to finding ways to fight for life…[T]here must be no surrender to genocide. Ever!”

For Native Americans, cultural genocide has been a constant force since about 1611, when French Jesuit missionaries set up schools to acculturate Indians. The intention has been one of “demolishing the internal cohesion of native societies, thereby, destroying the ability of these societies to resist conquest and colonization.” Cultural genocide is often coupled with forced assimilation which is the act of forcing one group to become like another–forcing the ‘uncivilized’ to become ‘civilized’. Thus, when the colonized child then goes to school, “The history which is taught him is not his own…Everything seems to have taken place outside of his country. […] The books talk to him of a world which in no way reminds him of his own.”

Cultural genocide and forced assimilation creates individual identity and social identity confusion (among other things) upon those who are victims of it. The colonizers who try to exterminate the cultural characteristics (including, but not limited to, the religious, linguistic, and social makeup) of the colonized consider the culture of the colonized people to be inferior. The identity confusion of colonized people associated with cultural genocide and forced assimilation facilitates the colonizers efforts to control the colonized people. While this certainly ties back to Nussbaum’s claim about dignity (everyone should be able to be treated as a dignified being), it also makes it extremely hard for colonized people to freely exercise the capabilities “Senses, imagination and thought (item 4) as well as “Emotions” (item 5), “Practical reason” (item 6) and “Play” (item 9).

To further investigate my claims, let us look at the institution of boarding schools (1870-1933) which was one of the United States’ policies which was geared toward cultural genocide–or as the phrase goes to “kill the Indian and save the man.”

“[M]any boarding schools were operated like prison camps, with American Indian children being starved, chained and beaten. Children were forbidden to speak Native American languages, practice Native American religions, or to convey or enact anything that might remotely resemble Native American lifestyles, beliefs, or customs. Children were taught that Native American cultures and religions were inferior, even evil, and were influenced to be ashamed of their parents, their family, their kinship systems, their language, their way of worship, and other remaining facets of Native American identity.”

From this description, we can see how indigenous children and young adults who attended boarding schools were unable to exercise their religion and avoid “nonbeneficial pain” (item 4). In addition to this, Native youths were prevented from having “attachments to things and persons outside” themselves (families and other social units), they were unable “to love, to grieve, to experience longing…and justified anger” and their emotional development was unquestionably blighted by overwhelming fear and anxiety (item 5). American Indian youths were swayed from forming a conception of the good (item 6) informed by such things as virtuous role models, adequate educational instruction and spiritual grounding. Moreover, these young people were unable to easily “laugh, to play” and to “enjoy recreational activities” (item 9).


Forced relocation or removal of colonized peoples is also frequently found in colonialism. This is typically because the colonizers are by and large looking for land or resources of the land the colonized people are in their way or, to be blunt, in the way of progress. Colonizers have been historically known to force colonized people from their homes and lands so that the resources and lands they once occupied can be used for the empire. When housing provisions have been made by the colonizers, they are normally very substandard. In addition to this, the locations colonized people are removed to tend to be harsh, unfriendly and very confining environments.

Many thousands of American Indians have been forcibly relocated and removed from their homes and lands since colonization began. The instances most often noted are the forced removal of the Cherokee, Choctaw, Chickasaw, Seminole and Creek nations from their homelands in the south east of what in now known as America to “Indian Territory” (Oklahoma). This forced removal is known as the “Trail of Tears” or “The Trail Where We Cried.”

Forced removal creates excessive physical and psychological hardship for those removed. This has been especially true for American Indians who, oftentimes, had to transport themselves–for example, literally walking from the Mississippi area to Oklahoma–by threat of violence–without adequate food, shelter or clothing. This is complete opposition to, at least, Nussbaum’s capabilities 1-3.

Further, the loss of traditional homelands created (and still creates) spiritual injury to American Indians because most indigenous religions are location specific. That is, they are centered around and in relation to specific geographic points and features of the natural world which cannot be remade by humans. This made (makes) it virtually impossible for removed people to practice their religions. This prevention of religious practice is opposed to Nussbaum’s claim that everyone should be able to practice her/his religion. Additionally, it prevented Native people in concern with plants, animals and the world of nature–item 8 on Nussbaum’s list–which are of particular significance to Native people.


I have touched the unjust makeup of colonialism in general and have explicitly pointed out examples of how these injustices show themselves in relation to Euroamericans and Native Americans.

In brief, for colonialism to ever begin, capabilities of the soon-to-be colonized are already undermined since colonizers, in order to move toward colonizing, see the colonized as inferior and worth less than themselves. Once colonization starts, it becomes more difficult for colonized individuals to have flourishing lives.

If we recall Nussbaum’s claim that a life that lacks any of these capabilities, whatever else it has, will fall short of being a good life, how, then, would we describe a life that lacks all–or nearly all–of these capabilities? How would we describe millions of these lives? How would we describe those who prevent these lives from flourishing?

Martha Nussbaum says that:

[H]uman capabilities exert a moral claim that they should be developed. When these capabilities are deprived of nourishment…they are fruitless, cut off, in some way but a shadow of themselves. They are like actors who never go on stage, or a person who sleeps all through life, or a musical score that is never performed. Their very being makes forward reference to their functioning. Thus, if functioning never arrives on the scene they are hardly even what they are.”

Now when we call to mind the data I presented in the section “Linking Yesterday to Today” that American Indians experience the most extreme poverty in the borders of the United States. That life expectancy is for American Indians is about thirty years less than for Anglo-Americans. That American Indians have the highest “rates of malnutrition, plague disease, death by exposure, infant mortality, and teen suicide of any group on the continent.” That Native American families have excessive rates of learned helplessness, violence, dependence, alcoholism and the breakdown of values that correlate with healthy living.” When we look at all this, we can now see the links between yesterday and today. We can also see that, clearly, American Indians today are not practically able to exercise capabilities which make a human life flourish. If you have even a loose agreement with me here, out next question might be: What do we do?


“The whole country changed with one handful of raggedy-ass pilgrims that came over here in the 1500’s. And it can take a handful of raggedy-ass Indians to do the same, and I intend to be one of those raggedy-ass Indians.”

–Annie Mae Pictou

To answer the question “What do we do?” we must first turn to American Indians themselves. As with previous sections of this paper, this section must be informed by Native American voices. This is, after all, their lives we are talking about. This is about their experiences and hopes. These answers cannot, then, come from “objective” observation or from mere reason. Those of us who are non-Indian need to realize that whatever propositions we make for the betterment of Indians need to be seriously informed by American Indians. If our propositions are not informed this way (engaging in dialogue, reading/listening to Indians voice their life experiences and scholarly views etc.) we are simply continuing to be imperialist. To restate the point, it would be an arrogant continuation of colonialism if we presumed to know what is best for people we’ve never met, talked with or listened to.

Think back to the introduction of this thesis when I asked the reader to assume a posture of friendship. This motive–the motive of friendship–is necessary for those of us who are non-Indian if we want to break colonialist thinking. Our writing and postulating must include, to a large degree, Indian voices. M. Lugones and E. Spelman explain that white/Anglos don’t need to set out to understand African American, Hispania, Native American communities, but we may become friends with individuals within those communities. However, we mustn’t befriend individuals for the purpose of theory making as this would be, Lugones and Spelman right tell us, “a perversion of friendship.” Further they inform us white/Anglos:

“[F]rom within friendship you may be moved by friendship to undergo the very difficult task of understanding our lives in our communities. This learning calls for circumspection, for questioning yourselves and your roles in your own culture. It necessitates a striving to understand while in the comfortable position of not having an official calling card (as ‘scientific’ observers of our communities have); it demands recognition that you do not have the authority of knowledge; it requires coming to the task without ready-made theories to frame our lives. This learning is then extremely hard because it requires openness (including openness to severe criticism of the white/Anglo world). sensitivity, concentration, self-questioning, circumspection. It should be clear that it does not consist in a passive immersion in our cultures, but in striving to understand what it is our voices are saying.”

American Indians have been exercising their voices for quite some time, despite the many obstacles they must overcome in order to speak out. But American Indians have been, by and large, only talking to themselves. Read how Anne Waters (former chair of the Committee on the Status of American Indians, American Philosophical Association) explains the concerns of the Committee on the Status of American Indians in 2003:

“We have had continuing discussions about: why there are no tenured or tenure-track American Indians in a philosophy department that offers a terminal degree; why there are no American Indians on any APA committee other than the Committee on the Status of American Indians in Philosophy; why no American Indian have received any prizes, awards, lecture opportunities, etc. from the APA; why we experience isolation and lack of audience (other than ourselves) at the divisional meetings; and why American Indians holding a PhD in philosophy do not receive inclusive opportunities to participate in philosophy department-sponsored diversity conferences at various universities across the country.”

It should be understood, then, that we–non-Indians and principally us Euroamericans–have not yet begun to strive to hear what indigenous voices are saying. Hence, the vast majority of us are ill prepared at this time to offer suggestions about the road to justice–the path to flourishing indigenous life.

If we understand that American Indians are the ones who know what they want and need and we also understand that they have been speaking (albeit to deaf ears) we may ask what is it that American Indians have been saying. What do indigenous people want?

I cannot rightly say that all indigenous people want the very same thing, but I do believe that many would agree on this: decolonization. It is colonialism which has squelched their populations, social cohesion, pride etc. therefore it must be the reversal or ending of colonialism which will put them in a better position to take back what they should have just by the mere fact of being born.

Ward Churchill tells us that “Decolonization means the colonized can…exercise the right to total separation in whole or in part, as they see fit, in accordance with their own customs and traditions, and their own appreciation of their needs. They decide for themselves what degree of autonomy they wish to enjoy and thus the nature of their political and economic relationship(s), not only with the former colonizers, but with all other nations as well.” This means that all indigenous nations within the current borders of the United States will be able to choose what relationship they want to have with the U.S. and how they would like to present themselves to the world. This does not necessarily mean that indigenous nations will completely separate from the U.S. and form independent nations, but it does mean that a given indigenous nation would be able to do so if the individuals of the nation thought it would be practical and best for the tribal citizens.

One concern I have run into while talking to non-Indians about the possibility of giving autonomy to Indians goes like this: If Indians want justice, does that mean that all of us white people have to get on the next ship to Europe?

The answer here is: no. This objection is, I think, a slippery slope. All I have ever heard Natives say is that that want to be able to control and shape their institutions to suit the needs of their citizens, to be able to practice their religions and access their sacred sites. They want nutritious food and water which does not contaminated with uranium. They want to be able to stimulate their economies and provide healthy environments for themselves and their loved ones. They want to make artistic works and scholarly works. And they want to do this without the U.S. government holding controlling policies over their heads and without the threat that the U.S. could, at any time, instate policies which would take away what Natives have worked hard to get. This does not mean that people who have heritage outside of this hemisphere must remove themselves.

We should not take this to suggest that American citizens will be unaffected by decolonization or that it will be comfortable for them. Giving up overprivilege is not comfortable for the oppressor. And taking back what has been stolen is not comfortable for the oppressed. But if we care about human lives and human flourishing and if we claim to be friends or would like to become friends, will will willingly give up our overprivilege–whether it’s comfortable for us to do so or not. We will also understand that whatever relationship Native nations have with the United States in the future will be up to indigenous people–not merely tribal leaders, but Indians, ‘formally’ educated or not, in positions of power or not.

If we understand the imperial power we hold over Indians, if we understand our overpowering privilege, and see how our colonial privilege stifles Native lives. we should do well to consider the following passage by Albert Memmi:

“[The colonizer] finds himself on one side of the scale, the other side of which bears the colonized man. If his living standards are high, it is because those of the colonized are low; […] the more freely he breathes, the more the colonized is choked. […]

Once [the colonizer] has discovered the import of colonization and is conscious of his own position…is he going to accept them? Will he agree to be a privileged man, and to underscore the distress of the colonized? Will he be a usurper and affirm the oppression and injustice to the true inhabitant of the colony? Will he accept being a colonizer under the growing habit of privilege and illegitimacy, under the constant gaze of the usurped?”

It is my wish, my intense hope, that we–Euroamericans–will not continue to accept our role as usurpers. I hope that once we have understood our current and historic status as oppressors and out implicit agreement to be colonizers, we will not explicitly agree to that position. I hope we could not live with ourselves as colonizers under the constant gaze of the colonized. I believe we can give up out power; we can choose to not support colonialist activities of our government. We can see American Indians as citizens of the world–citizens of their respective nations–whose worth is equal to that of ours. If we can give up overprivilege and understand Native Americans as human beings, then perhaps Sherman Alexie is right–“It’s a good day to be indigenous.”








On “Safe Spaces”

I was told recently by someone that I need a “safe space.” This was said in a negative way–as if having a haven is a bad thing. This person, of course, is a Trump supporter and was acting very hateful to me. They probably have nothing but good things to say about the current policy of snatching migrant children from their parents’ arms and putting those children in concentration camps.

Who here really needs the “safe space,” then?

I’m not the one afraid of Black people and immigrants–so much so that I knock them down, beat them up, lock them away and put up walls.

I’m not the one who needs an All White Space.

Think about that if someone tells you, in a derogatory way, that you need a safe space. Who is really the one with serious fragility problems? You or them?

The Personal Is The Philosophical

Lately, I’ve been mixing personal stories and experiences into my philosophical writing. That’s no accident. I finally feel, when doing this, authentic in my writing and thinking. (Instead of pretending I have thoughts, feelings and insights that come, dislocated, from nowhere.)

The personal has always been the philosophical for me. I know, I know. We shouldn’t say this in philosophy. We should be “objective,” aloof and disinterested.

That’s just not the case for me.

I’ll tell you the story of my senior thesis for my degree in philosophy. It happened one November day when I picked my daughter up from school. She was in kindergarten.

My daughter happens to be Choctaw. And, each November, in public schools, they have a tradition about learning about Native Americans, as well as Pilgrims.

I picked my daughter up from school and she told me flat out, “I don’t want to be Indian because Indians aren’t smart and never did anything good.” That’s exactly what she said. I’ll never forget.

“What,” I thought, “are they teaching my daughter about Native Americans?!”

Teachers have a certain authority to kids. You think what your teacher is telling you and insinuating is true. That’s pretty much why you are there.

But I knew otherwise. And I was pissed.

My daughter, beautiful and smart–with the sparkle in her eye–was telling me she was ashamed to be herself.

I wasn’t having it.

So I did the only thing I knew to do. This was about 2003 and I needed to complete a senior thesis. I picked an advisor, who happens to be the badass Susan Peppers-Bates, and went to town.

I emailed a fellow at another university who specialized in Native Studies, Steve Russell, and asked him for reading recommendations. He gave me a HUGE list of reading materials. I will always be so grateful to him for so, so much. I was a pretty ignorant white chick, after all, and he and I corresponded and he helped me out of the goodness of his heart.

I took that list of books and personally ordered every. single. one.

I devoured them.

Meanwhile, I told my daughter’s teacher that she was not going to participate in the Thanksgiving activities at school. I had my daughter sit out of Thanksgiving activities until she was older and they no longer did the Pilgrim and Indian thing.

I did many things related to the research for my thesis. I (we) traveled to Mississippi and re-traced the Trail of Tears to Oklahoma. I got to meet Chiefs from Mississippi and Oklahoma. We went and did family-related things with my daughter’s Choctaw family. I went all out for my research.

I got an A+ for my research.

I then wrote my thesis. Maybe someday, I’ll post it online.

I argued that the United States is currently colonizing Native American Nations, that this is morally wrong, and that the solution is decolonization.

I defended my thesis, but, I admit, I broke down in tears when I was grilled by people. I felt awkward making these arguments in a western philosophy department–even though the arguments were probably good! I just didn’t fit the canon. So, after I defended my thesis, I went to the bathroom to cry.

At home, though, I was trying to learn the Choctaw language with my daughter and sing Choctaw songs. Even though she is not “full blood,” I wanted her to be proud of her entire self–including the Choctaw, especially since her kindergarten teacher had made her feel so bad about it.

So, for me, the personal has always been the philosophical. I’m just more open about it now.

In Praise Of The Minority View

You could say I come from a failed history, both personally and intellectually. Personally, I failed at many things. But I want to talk more about the intellectual failings. The times “my guys” didn’t win.

Throughout our dismal western history, there have been a few shining lights. I want to talk about two of them: Bartolome de las Casas and Roger Williams.

I spent a lot of time–years and years!–studying Native history and philosophy. These days, I don’t proclaim to be an expert on those matters, though.

De las Casas and Williams are two men who stand out to me. Each of them interacted with indigenous people and took a wildly different view from what they learned from indigenous people than what was the prevailing views at the time.

Neither of these men are perfect, of course, and each revised their views over time–something that is admirable.

De las Casas (eventually) opposed all forms of slavery in the 1500’s. Yes, the 1500’s! He didn’t just think this and write about it, though. He actively went out and worked against such things for 50 years. He is known, in the western world, as one of the first people to advocate human dignity for all.

Some of de las Casas’ ideas took hold at the time. But, as we know, the prevailing view was to kill, maim, conquer, rape and enslave indigenous people. That’s what went down in our history books. That’s the reality indigenous people live(d) with.

Roger Williams was one of the first abolitionists in the 1600’s. Yes, the 1600’s! He is known for his staunch views on the separation of church and state. The concept of this separation is enshrined in our Constitution. But it came about from Williams’ interactions with Native people, who he saw as humans, who were good and decent, but who happened to have a different religion than he did.

Of course, American History shows us that Williams’ view of Native Americans did not win at the time–or for hundreds of years after. (And, arguably, still today.) And that’s what’s in our history books. That’s what Native Americans live(d) with.

We know in philosophy that the minority view is not always the incorrect view. That’s why we, hopefully, appreciate freedom of speech and liberty of conscious.

Don’t be afraid, then, to not follow the pack. Don’t be afraid to consider the assumptions of your time and place and think for yourself. Don’t be afraid to fight for what you know is right. You may lose. You may be an outcast. However, hundreds of years later, you may have someone writing an ode about you and remembering your legacy.

I come from a failed tradition as a westerner. However, my tradition is proud. My tradition is strong.

My tradition is gaining hold.

Putting Emotions In Their Place

As I’ve said, I’ve been on a journey. In this journey, I’ve come to have a more whole self–a self that is no longer fractured between the cognitive and the emotional.

We–whoever “we” are–tend to privilege the cognitive aspects of ourselves over emotion. Somewhere in western history, we decided emotions were inferior to reason. I’ve decided not to argue about the intelligence of emotions or how emotions really guide us in our intellect.

Instead, I want to value emotions for themselves.

Now, I have a history of practicing Stoicism. You’d think, then, if you took a stereotypical view of Stoicism, that I’d value emotions less than anyone. But that’s not the case.

I think the devaluation of emotions is linked to the oppression of certain humans, animals and nature. Somewhere along the way, emotions got to be associated with being wild, free and, sometimes, “womanly.” (And, of course, woman is thought to be inferior.)

It’s true that emotions can be wild, free and unchecked. But that doesn’t mean to suppress them. That doesn’t mean to rely solely on the cognitive aspect of yourself. Because, even if you don’t think so, the cognitive aspect without the check of emotions–without being a whole self, together and integrated–can run you afowl, too.

Think about my case: I knew in my cognitive self that all humans were equal. But it was only after integrating the emotional self that I actually came to practice this. The virtue of justice has now (finally!) been more integrated into my character because of emotions!

That’s no small feat. And emotions were, perhaps, the cause.

It wasn’t fellow-feeling. I had that already. It was me being entirely integrated. It was me being “in tune” with my own emotions that made me develop virtues.

So let’s not denigrate emotions anymore. If we are in fact two halves–one part cognitive and one part emotional–each half should be given an equal share in your life.

And we don’t have to resort to talking about how emotions are “intelligent” or are the prime cause of our ideas and thoughts in order to do this. Each part of you should be in equal proportion. So let your emotions do their thing. And, when that happens, you may gain virtues, feel whole and complete and you won’t have to worry too, too much about either your emotions or your intellect running amok.

Bumping Into Another: The Joy Of Conflict

My counselor says she doesn’t have the wisdom to do what she does. Any wisdom she may have, she says, comes from God.

Well, wherever her wisdom comes from, it’s there for sure.

She and I have discussed interpersonal conflict. I’ve had a negative view of conflict in the past. I’m sure many people do. In fact, when I discussed community and family with someone recently, they wondered how everything could be sunshine and roses.

Well, everything is not sunshine and roses. But it’s how you approach it that makes you grow.

People you meet in your life have the ability to help you grow as an individual. Personal growth and development is something we should all aspire to.

I’ve come across many people in my life. And I lived for many years in a combative environment–philosophy. But life–and philosophy!–don’t have to be combative.

When you bump into another–someone with a different view from you, someone with a different worldview, etc–you don’t have to respond with combativeness. Even if they are jerks, which a lot of people are, you can learn from them. They can help you grow. In fact, it’s my little secret these days that, when I bump into another, I try to take away some kind of thought and growth–even if they don’t take away anything. I’m not responsible for their growth. Only mine.

This way of being in their world can work for practically anyone. If you are a Christian, it’s argued by many that God wants you to be as mature as you possibly can. So take the time to learn by bumping into another.

I call it “bumping into another” because when thoughts collide, you can feel the reverberations inside yourself. This can make you grow. And, just like bones need tension in order to be strong, so your character needs tension by bumping into people with different views from you. I’m not saying, again, that it’s all going to be sunshine and roses. I’m not even saying your going to have a great experience when you bump into another. It’s the reverberations inside you that will give you insights about things, people, the world, and so on.

So, go ahead. Bump into another. You may grow. And, if they are lucky, they will grow, too.

On Killing The Indian And Saving The Man

American, Canada and Australia have worldview blood on their hands. Yes, they have literal blood, but, worse, they have worldview blood on their hands.

Each country stole Indigenous from their families and placed them in boarding schools. While there, they were beaten for speaking their Native tongue, forced to dress “western,” abused in many ways, and were forced to take on a different worldview.

These are “before and after” pictures of Native children in the midst of being assimilated.

These countries couldn’t win the debate between worldviews, so they appealed to force. It’s important to note that this was entirely about worldviews. This was forced assimilation. It’s not merely about how one dresses, although that’s certainly a part of it.

There are still (non-Native) people who think Indigenous people were inferior. And I suppose they think that bringing Native kids into the western worldview was the proper thing to do.

But, alas. That can’t be true. In addition to the physical, emotional and sexual abuses these kids endured, they were taught in an American way. They were given strict structure to their day. No more could they live on Indian Time. They were given a hierarchy to live in. No more could they strive for egalitarianism. Their ideas of God, nature, the universe–of everything–was forcibly replaced.

Well, these major countries tried the method of force, but many Native people still practice their old ways as much as they can–and it’s amazing! When you have to appeal to force, you automatically lose. So, when judging the argument between worldviews, it’s clear who the loser is.


I’m Pretty Sure God Doesn’t Want You To Be A Doormat

I’m not and expert on Christianity. Last year, I did some serious studies and even applied to Divinity School (which I can’t do for personal reasons). But, still, I’m not an expert. However, I’ve come across some Christians who apparently think that being devout means they have to be a doormat.

“Forgiveness” is often preached. We should be forgiving, they say. But that doesn’t mean you have to live your life doing things that make you forgive and forgive. You shouldn’t be in a state of constantly trying to forgive people.

I’m talking to, mostly, Evangelicals here.

God is a role model for you. And I don’t think your God is a doormat. If S/He was, S/He would be granting all your wishes and desires. However, God is not your genie in a lamp. And you are not a genie, either, to be at everyone’s beck and call, only to feel used up and feel the need to forgive.

For more on this, I do recommend the book Boundaries.

Would You Rather Be Smart Or Good?

That’s a question I used to ask people way back in undergrad. It seemed to me that these two things were in conflict; that it’s hard for both to exist in a person at the same time.

And, at the time, I guess I chose smart. (But I wanted both!)

Well, the years have rolled on. I don’t know if these two things are in conflict. Someone else will have to answer that. And I don’t aspire to be incredibly smart anymore. Instead, I aim to be wise. 

Counseling, which I do recommend for just about everyone, has helped me with that. 

Phenomenologically, there seemed to be a split in my very self. It was a separation between what we call the cognitive aspect of me and the emotional aspect of me. The cognitive was overdeveloped. While the emotional was stunted. So, I grew up and lived bent and broken; not a whole, intact self, but a fractured self.

Through counseling, I’ve come to be more in tune with my emotional senses. And this has lead to radical changes in me. Of course, cognitively and in theory, I appreciated the emotions. But that doesn’t mean I put it into practice.

And, these days, I feel more whole. I think there really is a sense in which some people who are bad or evil are broken in some way inside. And tons of people, I’ve found, walk around this way.

Would you rather be smart or good? That may be a false dilemma. It all depends on how our psychology is; how our characters may be structured.

But I take it that the overdevelopment of my cognitive self and the underdevelopment of my emotional self is what was the problem.

Ancient western philosophers, who I know more about than other traditions, must have been not only intelligent, but wise. They must have lived and experienced things. They must have had “insights.”

Unfortunately, some aspects of contemporary philosophy have stressed mere smartness. We come up young, sometimes with very little life experiences, and develop the cognitive aspects of ourselves, playing around with logic problems and exercising that.

I want to bring back–if it was ever there–the philosopher as a sage; the philosopher as wise. This doesn’t have to hokey. And, if you think being sage and wise is hokey, I have to wonder about your biases.


“Anywhere you can lead your life, you can lead a good one.”

That quote is from Marcus Aurelius. It may be true in fact, but in reality, it may be more complex.

Anywhere you live, you can be a good person. However, it’s known that under certain conditions, it’s harder to be a good person. For example, it may be harder to be a good person under an authoritarian regime.

This is partly because leaders in authoritarianism, however evil they may be, are not typically dumb. They use strategies to instill hate and fear in the population. These strategies are hard to resist.

Still, it’s possible, with fortitude, preparation and work, to keep yourself intact and not succumb to these tactics.

Over a year ago, I read and shared this piece on how to be your own light in the Age of Trump. If you haven’t read it, I do recommend it. I’ve tried my best to stay true to this.

However, I can’t say I haven’t changed while Trump has been in office. I’ve had, for one thing, a happy shift in my worldview, which has made me not only more just in character but has given me new ideas about implicit bias.

So, the changes in me have been positive, all in all.

However, this may be rare under an authoritarian regime. We grow hateful, cantankerous and mean under authoritarianism. This can be true of anyone.

I still believe, though, that you can be a good person under authoritarianism. And that, in fact, is perhaps the best way to fight it.

Toward A Value Theory Of Implicit Bias

There’s been some books that have come out over the past few years on implicit bias. I’ve really wanted to read them but haven’t. If anything I write here is in them, I’d be surprised, but happy. It means I’ve struck upon a good idea.

As I was lying in bed, like Descartes, tonight, I had a thought: What if the things I’ve been writing about recently are related to implicit bias? I’ve always known that everyone has biases, but implicit bias is exceptionally bad. You act as if other people have less value. This has been documented against people of color and women, especially.

What if, I thought, The Great Chain of Being is related to all of this.

We live in a hierarchical society. Its sad but true. Like I’ve mentioned before, I lived my life as if certain people–not necessarily people of color or women, per se–had less value than others. I now aim to live differently.

I want to, then, put forward the beginnings of what I call The Value Theory of Implicit Bias. (For more on the background thinking on this, see the rest of my recent blog posts.) On this theory, we know, explicitly, that all humans are equally valuable. But we act as if some are more valuable than others because of how our (capitalist) society is structured. This would explain why, for example, people say they believe in equality but act as if they don’t. They are attributing, in the back corners of their mind, a false value to people, thinking some to be worth less than others.

On this view, we are incorrect in the recesses of our mind and in our actions. This would be why people show to be having bias on the Implicit Association Test and why a people act in biased ways.

It would also explain why women and people of color also seem to score to be having bias on these tests and why a woman can be sexist. These are people who know the structure of our society. We–all of us–are born into it and raised in it.

On this view, then, we are incorrectly assigning values in our implicit thoughts and in our deeds. That’s why it’s called The Value Theory of Implicit Bias.

This is a new thought to me: that bias is really an assignment of value. And, moreover, it carries out in our actions.

I’ll think more on this and write more if anything else comes to mind.


You Don’t Have To Be A Platonist To Believe In Truth (And Fight Fascism!)

I want to share an image I found online:

I like this quote. I like the image.

Many people have noted that the break down of our sense of truth is a red flag that could lead to fascism in the United States.

Believing in truth is one good way to fight fascism. I still believe in truth. I hope you do, too.

However, some people have cleaved to a Platonic sense of Truth these days when they defend truth. You don’t have to become a Platonist in order to cleave to truth.

Truth is not my specialty when it comes to philosophy. I know vaguely of various theories of truth, but what I do know more about and what rings true to me is Wittgenstein’s comments on the word ‘know’.

Wittgenstein was, mostly, a philosopher of language. That’s what he’s known for, anyway. He is responsible for the linguistic turn in philosophy a few decades ago. He was noted for his ideas on The Cogito (I think, therefore I am), situating the word ‘know’ in the context of language and using it in the ordinary sense.

It can be argued that ‘truth’ is being equivocated on. There’s Truth (capital ‘T’) in the Platonic sense and then there’s truth (lower case ‘t’) in the ordinary sense.

What fascism tends to do is break down everything–every sense of truth. Even the ordinary sense. The response to this should be to keep on believing in the ordinary sense of truth–no matter how hard people try to break it down.

Some folks, however, have responded to the threat of fascism by equivocating on truth–switching to the stronger, Platonic sense, rather than sticking with the ordinary.

I believe in truth. I’m not a Platonist and never have been. That’s one way I try to fight fascism. I hope you’ll join me in believing in truth.

On Taking It Slow: My Way Of Doing Philosophy

We live in a fast-paced world. Delivering results quickly is rewarded. Well, friends, I work better slowly.

I’m not a paid philosopher–something another unpaid philosopher told me might be more like sophistry when you think about it. But I’ve been doing a bit of philosophy lately here on the blog.

I don’t invest time doing philosophy, honestly. I don’t “work for it.” I wait for things to come to me. Yes, I read and try to keep up with current issues in the field. But I don’t spend my time “doing” philosophy the way I did in that past. I spend my time, honestly, sleeping an awful lot because I both have schizophrenia and am on some heavy medications. I also spend time with family, friends, meeting new people, among other things.

Even though I’m doing philosophy on the blog, I don’t think I’m necessarily fit to be in the current world of philosophy. I know I can’t work just about any job. I’ve tried, trust me. Plus, there’s the sleep issue. I need 10-12 hours of sleep.

So, I take it slow. I’m on Texas time. (Or “Indian Time.” Or Kenya Time. Pick a culture where time and speed don’t matter as much–that’s what time I’m on.)

You can be the judge of my results, but I feel more fruitful doing this than doing anything else I did in the past. I’m not forcing ideas to come to me. I’m not doing any work. Instead, I wait. I do other things. And, sometimes, an idea comes to me. These are insights–and they make me feel very lucky.

In philosophy, we don’t always think of “insights” and luck when it comes to our ideas. But I’m a big believer that my thoughts, if I ever have good ones, are mostly a matter of luck. They are just insights that came to me. I wasn’t willing them to happen. In fact, if I try to will my thoughts, I go awry–just as I have done in the past. 

I’d never be granted tenure on this path. And that’s fine. I don’t need tenure.

If you can produce good work in philosophy in the current system, I think that’s great. But I cannot.

I may never write a treatise. I may never even publish a paper. I’ll probably never even try to come up with a Theory of Everything. As it happens, I blog.

And, for me, that’s fine.


What Kind Of Jerk Was I?

I’ve been reflecting on evil a lot these days. I’ve mentioned that I’ve met some evil people. I don’t want to come off as too high and mighty, though. I have my flaws.

In fact, it’s only been through personal growth and development that I’ve been able to have insights about others.

I’ve written about The Great Chain of Being, which was in the recesses of my mind, unfortunately. Today, while at counseling, I confessed to my counselor something truly horrible. Horrible, but probably not uncommon. I told her that it’s only been recently that I’ve started treating people as if they have equal value.

We all know and say that everyone is equal–and a lot of us mean it! But I’m talking about our actions, here. I’m talking about how we live.

Tell the truth: Do act as if the CEO has more value than the burger flipper? Really, do you live your life that way? Do you act as if–and truly feel–that you are not worthy compared to the person of higher status–say, your thesis advisor or Brian Leiter?

I did. And I did this even though it’s in direct conflict with what I know to be, not only true, but what I fight for and espouse.

There’s a feeling I have these days. I want to sit cross legged on the ground with the burger flipper and Brian Leiter. This way, as the Native Americans must have known, makes everyone feel humble and equal. It does me, anyway.

My counselor told me not to beat myself up and give myself negative talk. So I’m not. As she advised, I’m moving forward with this new way of living because this change is not only good, but probably happened in me for a reason.

But, boy, what kind of jerk was I?

“I Take My Meds To Make You Feel Better”

I live with the diagnosis of schizophrenia. Many, many people think of this as a very serious illness. And I’m not saying I don’t have struggles. I do.

However, many lay people think they know what’s going on in psychiatry. And, unfortunately, they think meds are a cure-all.

So let me set the record straight on this: There is no cure for schizophrenia. There are merely treatments.

I have theories about why people think they need to insert themselves into my healthcare–and most of them are not good. If you are such a person, you should probably examine your motives. Do you really want what’s best for me? Or is it something else?

I have tried about 7-8 different medications. For each med, I was pressured by other people to stay on these meds–even though they caused lock jaw, drooling, an extremely fuzzy mind and more.

Look, it’s my healthcare. Not yours. And, sometimes, people with mental illness are taking their meds not to make themselves feel better but to make you feel better.

Psychiatry is known for often using a shotgun approach to treatment. They try this. They try that. See if anything works.

I can’t tell you how many theories there are about the cause of schizophrenia. Is it the result of trauma? Is it a vitamin deficiency? Is it poor gut health? Is it chemicals in the brain? Is it the structure of the brain?

I know of other people with the diagnosis of schizophrenia. Most of us use a multi-pronged approach to treatment. For example, I take Abilify Maintena, go to counseling and take vitamin supplements. Some people take medication and incorporate nature therapy into their regimen. Some people, who have tried several different medications to no avail, rely on a slew of vitamin supplements. Most of us try to eat right.

For none of us is there a “cure.” None of us do exactly the same thing when it comes to treatment. There’s not a pill that works for everyone.

So when you come to me, demanding I take my meds, I’m going to, first of all, ask you about all of your medical treatments. Are you taking your blood pressure medicine? Is your diabetes under control? It’s none of my business, of course. But my treatments are none of yours, either.

In the end, many people who have schizophrenia want their symptoms to go away. Some of those symptoms may be more terrifying than you can imagine. Whatever your personal view is about schizophrenia and controlling it (yes, it’s often about control), I’m sure the symptoms and stigma the person with the diagnosis has are far, far worse.

So make sure the people in your life are not taking their meds simply to placate you. Psychotropic medications come with serious side effects. These are not to be downplayed. You don’t go around messing with the brain haphazardly!

If you are a lay person trying to “help” someone with the diagnosis of schizophrenia, know your place. The person with the diagnosis has the absolute right to try this or that–or even to not be treated at all! Yes! They have that right!

Weakness Of Will And The Problem Of Evil

I used to think of weakness of will as a pleasant, little philosophical problem. I thought, “Hey, this is interesting. Most of us are weak willed. Now, let’s play around with definitions and obscure philosophical problems about it.”

In fact, in grad school I presented a view on weakness of will that I don’t really remember, but probably would now reject. It was a fun logical game for me.

However, after coming across people who are in fact evil, I see that weakness of will is heavily related to the problem of evil.

In short (and philosophers certainly disagree on such things!), weakness of will is doing something against your better judgement. You know it’s wrong, but you do it, anyway.

I’m going to take a perhaps controversial example to illustrate this. Most Americans think watching porn is morally wrong. Yet, an absurd number of them do it, anyway. Say what you want, but according to books such as The New Naked (a book I recently read), watching porn distorts what you think is desirable, beautiful, sexy–and it can even lead to serious sexual dysfunction!

You know it’s wrong, but you do it, anyway. That’s weakness of will.

How is this related to evil?

Well, it seems simple enough to me. If you watch porn, to go back to our example, and your mind is warped by it, you walk around the world with this warped mind. You may impose beauty standards that mimic porn. You may find certain people physically undesirable because you measure them to porn. All kinds of things that are utterly, utterly sexist!

And it’s all because of weakness of will.

If you don’t like my porn example, you can most certainly use another. But, at any rate, the issue of weakness of will is not just some fun, little logic problem. It’s a serious issue. It’s a real issue. It impacts millions of people all over the world.

Now, I’m not saying weakness of will is the root of all evil. But it’s definitely the root of some.

The real issue, then, is not our fun philosophical definitions of weakness of will. It’s how we solve the real issue of weakness of will. And, for that, I’ll have to do more reading and thinking. 


Incels: Why I Ignore Them

I’ve been a feminist all my life. I’ve also dealt with sexism all my life. So it’s no wonder I’d be a feminist.

For some men, feminism is hard to understand. But then, most of those people have never delved into feminist theory or tried to even understand a feminist perspective. I’m at the point where, if you’re not a feminist, I don’t even want to bother with you. I don’t need you in my life. There’s simply no other perspective that’s worth my attention.

That’s not to say there aren’t important disagreements among feminists and important issues to tease apart. There most certainly are.

I, for example, am more of an ecofeminist. I think the treatment of animals, the environment and certain humans are interconnected. For more on this, see my post on The Great Chain of Being.

However, it does mean that I’m not spending my time diving into the dark world of incels. I know they’ve been in the news. I know crimes have been attributed to them. I vaguely know their hateful perspective.

None of that is new to me. I’ve gazed into enough evil for one lifetime, thankyouverymuch, and I don’t need to gaze into more.

I know for damn well they have no good arguments. I know for damn sure that their “intellectuals” are putting out propaganda. They are simply not people I take seriously.

I realize I should be worrying about a movement that is literally trying to destroy me. But, quite frankly, ain’t nobody got time for that. I try my best to surround myself with people who are smarter than them. Yes, smarter. Because those guys must be incredibly stupid to fall for the arguments they fall for.

There’s simply no debate on whether women are and should be socially, politically and economically equal to men. No one in their right mind thinks so.

So this will probably be the only time you’ll hear me mention incels. If you’re a guy and you think incels are radically different from you, think again. They are merely distilling the thoughts many men have about women.

As for me, I always knew I lived in a hateful world. Fighting incels is not how I want to spend my time. I want to spend my time in other, better ways. You may think that’s my privilege, but in reality, it’s me setting healthy boundaries.

If You Can’t Travel The World, Travel Your Neighborhood

Anthony Bourdain died by suicide recently. He has been hailed all over the world by many different people. He brought the far corners of the world to our living rooms.

You may aspire to travel like him. Some, like Mark Twain, have even argued that travel is perhaps the only way to dissolve bigotry and ignorance.

I’m poor and disabled. It’s unlikely I’ll ever travel the world. Yet, I have rich experiences just in my own neighborhood. Your mileage may vary, of course. It all depends on your neighborhood. Some are higher economic class; some are mostly white. Even so, there’s probably diversity right outside your door.

For example, I’m poor, white, disabled and queer. I currently live in a communal way with my family. My next door neighbors on one side are a Vietnamese family. The parents are perhaps in their 40’s or 50′. And the kids go to high school, I believe. We have had a cultural exchange of food with these neighbors.

On the other side of my house is two white sisters. They are in their 70’s and 80’s. One is gay and one is straight. The straight one has a transgender granddaughter. We have also had food exchanges with these neighbors.

Both neighbors are great. But you can see the diversity here just outside my door.

American, for as much as I dislike some of the current political dialogue, is a diverse place. There’s people with disabilities, older people, younger people, brown people, white people, queer people, straight people.

Peek outside your door. See who’s there. Exchange some food. Build those bonds. Break down those walls. And, while your at it, think of Anthony Bourdain.

When I Say “Trump Is Not My President”

There’s some iffy thinking floating around. For example, I came across this statement today:

“To all the snowflakes who say Trump is not your president….who is? Trump IS your president. Too bad!!!!”

Well, first of all, it is of course ad hominem to call people “snowflakes.” This is an obvious attempt to denigrate people–and that’s just a shame.

Now, that’s not to say people who are leftist don’t call names. They do. And it’s ad hominem when they do it, too.

But let’s get back to analyzing this statement. What does it mean when people say “Trump is not my President?”

They are clearly not saying he is not President of the United States. Obviously, he is.

When I say “Trump is not my President,” I mean he and his policies don’t represent me. I mean that he is not speaking for me. I mean his ideologies are not in line with who I am–and they never will be.

Why might I say that?

Well, first, he attempts to destroy the free press by constantly attacking legitimate news sources as “fake news.”

Second, he uses divide and conquer strategies, like pitting Americans against each other (hint, hint, original poster), in order to consolidate power and deflect criticism from himself.

Third, like a Banana Republic, he hires family and incompetent people to fill key positions.

These are just a very few reasons why I say “Trump is not my President.” His outlook on basically everything is not in line with my outlook.

Am I saying that he is not the current President? Nope. Not at all. I live with the unfortunate reality that he is indeed the President.

As for the “snowflake” comment, see my post from yesterday. Sticks and stones, my friends. Sticks and stones.


The Most Tranquil Country On Earth?

Bernard Williams famously argued we need to bring back old words from virtue ethics. We need, in other words, concepts and language that is nuanced and textured to fill the sparse philosophical void we have.

I agreed when I came across this argument. But I agreed even more when I was doing some reading from Seneca’s On Tranquility of the Mind.

Seneca, of course, is a Stoic. And tranquility of the mind is something I’ve been experiencing a lot lately.

Stoics are famous for arguing about knowing what’s in ones control (and attending to that) and what’s not in one’s control (and leaving that be). Many humans have control issues. Some simply mistake what’s under their control. But some are actually very controlling.

External things are often not the focus in Stoicism. It’s mostly about how to tune oneself so that one is in harmony with nature and the world. Except when that’s not the case.

In one portion of On Tranquility of the Mind, Seneca argues that constant work leads to a feebleness and dullness of the mind:

This quote from Seneca came to mind as I watched a short video on Finland, the current “happiest country in the world.” The video explained that happiness in this sense doesn’t mean laughing and smiling all the time. I took it to mean something more like tranquility. And tranquility of mind is certainly something to aspire to.
As we look to things like politics and how we want our (U.S.) society to be, we absolutely should look to other countries and how they are doing. If Finland produces more tranquil minds–count me in! And if by ‘happiness’, they don’t really mean happiness, they should change the name of the Happiness Index to reflect what they do mean. If it’s something more like tranquility, name it that. Let’s not be afraid to introduce these words into our vocabulary.

When Stoic Calm Meets Evil

The past several years have been a long, hard journey for me. I went from “having it all” to having, basically, nothing–sometimes, not even my own mind.

While on this journey, I’ve been abused, forcibly hospitalized, gone to jail (Yep! Many people with my diagnosis do, unfortunately!) and have tried many different “treatments” to “cure” my “illness.”

I’ve been in counseling for about a year and a half. I may appear smart, but my counselor makes me feel hardheaded. She’s been my lifeline and the best treatment of all the treatments I’ve tried. She knew where she wanted me to be a year and a half ago. I’m only just now getting there.

There’s a sense of self-love and self-acceptance I’ve been feeling recently. I feel fortified and strong. These are lessons one learns from things like Stoicism–but for me, they’ve finally been internalized.

I face various criticism from different people, but they really cannot phase me anymore. And, as I’ve come across people who really do try to put me down, I feel as if they are wasting a lot of energy. I simply observe them and their behavior. It doesn’t permeate me. As I feel Stoic Calm, they are using their precious time on Earth practicing vices and negativity.

So I’ve had time. I’ve had time to closely observe and experience evil up close. I’ve come to a few conclusions, but no set theory. In a nutshell, though, I think Aristotle was right about what one practices. You are what you repeatedly do.

There are aims which one certainly can do, but probably shouldn’t. These things include what you attend to, what you bring into your psyche. The old phrase “Garbage in, garbage out?” Well, that rings true in not only my observations, but in the study of psychology. And some people, I hate to report, have truly warped their own psyche. Sometimes to the point that I wonder if it is beyond repair.

They can call me “crazy” all day long. But one thing my mom will tell you I’ve always had was sharp powers of observation. I am at the point where you can tell lies about me, insult me, try to put me down, but I will still rise.

And, with that, I’ll leave you with the poem I’ve had in my head all day.


The Value Of A College Education

I have wealth that doesn’t dissipate. I have wealth you cannot take away from me and cannot be depleted. I have a college education.

Even though most people who have college degrees tend to make more money than people who don’t (Yup–it’s true!), I don’t want to focus on that. Because focusing on that is the business model of education–something I reject.

I went to college for two distinct reasons, in this order: (1) To learn, (2) To earn money.

It turned out for me that, at present, I cannot work. So my second reason for going to college is moot.

However, I do know that I am a happier, healthier, better informed (and probably just better in general) person due to my education. I have research skills–something incredibly lacking in our present Trump-filled-fake-news society. I understand about how the world works. I understand history. I can tease apart arguments.

I know what this means:

Am I saying I’m better than you if you have no education? No. I don’t believe that, when it comes to value, any human is really more valuable than another. Am I elitist? No. Unless, of course, you think that learning is elite, which it isn’t. But if you think opening a book is elitist, then count me as elite.

I’ve lived my life trying to share my education with others, especially those who could not go to college. Some of them rejected it–for, ultimately, bad and biased reasons–but oh well. You can bring a horse to water, but you can’t fix willful ignorance.

Deep down inside me, there was a burning desire to learn. I think it runs in my family, who are consumed with learning and who are incredibly bright, even though some didn’t go to college. This desire in me was only quenched by learning from scholars.

I am grateful for people who came before me–women, people of goodwill–who paved the way for me to go to college.

If you cannot see the value of learning, I pity you and wonder about the direction and nature of your soul. As for me, I stand by my decision to go to college. I may not be rich. But I never aspired to be rich, either.

On Giving And Receiving Help

A lot of people who know me know I’ve been an active follower of Stoicism in the past. I’m less so now–because of what modern Stoicism has become. However, I do still follow along with texts and quotes from Stoicism that enlighten and nourish me. There’s been a couple of quotes I’ve come across recently that have fed my spirit and helped me grow. Today, I came across this:

“Don’t be ashamed to need help. Like a soldier storming a wall, you have a mission to accomplish. And if you’ve been wounded and you need a comrade to pull you up? So what?” – Marcus Aurelius

Really: So what if you need help?
Our society, unfortunately, blames and shames people for needing help and encourages us to not help other people. But, like I’ve said before, no human is or should be an island.
I know of some people who take these cultural messages, which are probably intentionally meant to deteriorate certain aspects of our society, such as unions, and try to whole-heartedly live them out. They try to be islands unto themselves.
This rugged individualism is a myth, I’m sorry to say. I’ve read, studied, lived and mixed and mingled enough to know that the people you think are islands unto themselves–who you look up to–are really, in some way, shape or form, dependent on someone else, too.
This life, according to Marcus Aurelius, is somewhat like a battle. We are on a mission. If you get wounded along the way, so what if another warrior helps you up. (And, while I’m at it–so what if that warrior is black, white, transgender, gay, straight, Mexican or Muslim? If you’re down for the count, do you really want to shun these people? If your life depends on it?)
We really need to re-think our stance about giving and receiving help. There is, like the quote says, no shame in it whatsoever.
I’ll wrap this up by saying that whether you give or get help through personal means or through social programs, it’s all the same. There’s no shame in it at all. You shouldn’t resent the help you give. And you shouldn’t feel shame if you get such help.

The Strength Of The Wolf Is In The Pack: Life Lessons From Unions

I know of people who are in unions. One of the sayings related to one such union is “The Strength of the Wolf is in the Pack.” Even though I live in the South, where unions aren’t as strong, the people who are in unions receive higher pay, better benefits and a safer working environment than those who are not in unions. It’s also known that some organizations give good benefits and pay better simply because they don’t want unions in.

Unfortunately, not everyone who is in a union understands and appreciates the hard work and amazing skills union members had which gave them the present benefits they have. They simply do not know union history.

Now, union history is not my specialty. However, I did work briefly for Working America, which is affiliated with the AFL-CIO. While there, I was a field organizer. In addition to this field experience, I know of people like Mother Jones, who was more of an agitator than organizer, and who was called “the most dangerous woman in America” for her work with unions.

It’s ironic that some people in unions these days think of themselves as islands–they think their hard work got them where they are, with all they have. When, in fact, it was the work of people who believe in interdependence, community, collective bargaining and striking that got them where they are, historically speaking. It was literal blood, sweat and tears of brave men and women working together for a common cause that got them where they are.

One thing we can learn from unions is that the individualistic idea that we are and should be islands is not only false, it cannot hold up against an idea of collectivism, community and common cause.

No matter your station in life, you are, ultimately, dependent on someone. Even business owners are dependent on, not only customers (that’s why boycotts work!), but employees (that’s why strikes work!).

The strength of the wolf is, indeed, in the pack.

I’m Back, With A Different Worldview

I decided a while back to stop blogging. Well, I’ve changed my mind. I want to document some changes in me and my worldview.

Since I stopped blogging and relieved myself of some toxic relationships, I’ve had a series of insights. I’ve gone on, one could say, a vision quest, where I’ve not only gained knowledge but wisdom. I wanted to share this with you.

It’s been a preoccupation of mine to help end oppression of people I am more privileged than. Sure, I have my fair share of “markings” that set me aside for oppression: I’m disabled with a very stigmatized “disability,” I’m poor, I’m female, and so on. But I also know I have it better than some.

What makes me oppressive? It’s not merely my skin color. My oppressiveness has been a worldview lurking in the back of my mind. A worldview, I’m sorry to say, that inhabits the minds of many and is incredibly false. This worldview is The Great Chain of Being.

On this worldview, there’s a hierarchy in the universe. God, if you believe in such a thing, is at the top, followed by angels, humans (some of which are higher than others), domesticated animals, wild animals, and nature. You can learn more about The Great Chain of Being here.

We know, from science and our studies of humans, animals and the environment, that this worldview is false. But it has lurked in the minds of so many for hundreds, if not thousands, of years. It possibly began with Europeans, who tried to spread this worldview to non-Europeans.

Be honest with yourself. Is this the worldview in the deep cognitive structures of your mind?

It was for me.

Partially through behavior modification, I’ve come to change my worldview. I’ve been replacing it with something more true and more beautiful: Mitakuye Oyasin (We Are All Related).

We Are All Related is a phrase that reflects the Lakota worldview. Like The Great Chain of Being, it also posits an ordering to the universe. However, this ordering is more in line with what we know to be true from science. In a nutshell (and I’m certainly no expert here), We Are All Related says that everything in creation–humans, nonhuman animals, plants, nonliving things–are all interconnected. It’s a philosophical statement about how things are in the world.

It’s also, however, used as a prayer. So it has a normative force to it, just like The Great Chain of Being.

Both of these worldviews say “This is how things are and ought to be.”

The problem with The Great Chain of Being is that it is false. Moreover, it leads to ill treatment of certain humans, animals and the environment.

As I was reading literature on dehumanization, much of which presupposes The Great Chain of Being, I realized that I needed to have a worldview overhaul. Immediately, We Are All Related came to me as a better, more true alternative.

Now, there’s problems here, obviously. I’m white. And I don’t wish to appropriate from Native cultures. I’ve studied under, however, the best of the best–and I aim to continue to do so. But what I’ve found is that, to help end oppression, we need to completely overhaul our worldview. It’s false. It hurts people and animals. Let’s do away with The Great Chain of Being and replace it with something else.

You can choose a different worldview to replace it with, as long as it’s more true and more beautiful than The Great Chain of Being. I  chose We Are All Related because it came to me in a flash of insight. And, after examination, I’ve found it to be more true to what we know.

I am still in my baby phase here. I’ve done the work to overhaul my worldview, but, as I said, I don’t want to appropriate. I don’t need to have an eagle feather. I don’t need regalia. I can buy my clothes used from Goodwill and still keep this new worldview in place. I can do my best to live in balance and harmony with all things, including all humans. That’s what I can do.

The problem, in the end, has been our (Europeans’) worldview. It is oppressive, false and ugly. And we’ve run around the world supposing it’s true and good. We’ve also tried to assimilate others into thinking this way. Well, I’m assimilating the opposite way.

You can call me a “wannabe” Native all day long. But I don’t wannabe.

What I truly want is the very structure of my cognitive content to reflect reality and beauty. And, at this time, anyway, I’ve found We Are All Related to be a good replacement.

Prove me wrong.

Here Lies My Blog

Dear Reader,

I do not intend to write more at this blog. This has been an outlet for me, at times, to try on different hats, explore ideas and practice writing–a hobby of mine.

But it’s time to say farewell.

These days, there’s just too much I need to take care of in my life to keep up a quality blog–not that this blog was ever what one would deem “quality.”

See, this blog was initially related to the rest of the site–a professional blog. It morphed, as time went on, into a personal blog, where I shared ideas, thoughts, tried on different hats and, possibly, made a ton of errors. Hey–it’s my blog, my errors. I own them. But the blog, as it currently stands, doesn’t really relate to the rest of the site. It’s a mismatch. And I don’t have the time to keep it up and make it more professional. (Besides, I’m not in the same headspace I was when I made this website.)

I’m leaving the whole site, including this blog, up for a while–but don’t think it will be here forever.

Everyone knows that to be in contact with me, you should follow me on Facebook. That’s where I keep in contact with my friends and family.

I hope you have enjoyed reading.

RIP, blog. As they say, “It’s been real. And it’s been fun. But it ain’t been real fun.”


This Portfolio Is a Relic Of What I Once Was

This is my blog. The rest of this website is my e-portfolio. I made it several years ago. You can browse around and see my various, mostly professional, accomplishments.

At this point in my life, the portfolio part seems to be a relic of what I once was.

Around 2008, I had my first psychotic break. It just hasn’t been the same since then. I was on the path to become an academic–aiming for a PhD in Philosophy, with the goal of becoming a professor. I had to leave school, which I loved, and go through the years-long process of recovery. I don’t know that full recovery from my diagnosis of schizophrenia is possible for me.

I have a long-time counselor who suggests I simply modify my expectations in life; to live life as a disabled person. I resisted that for a long time, but now I think, after various trials and tribulations, that this is wise advice.

I plan to still maintain this blog and keep this website for a while. It goes to show that someone with promise–someone very career-oriented, who excelled in school and work–can become disabled and have their dreams dashed.

People with disabilities are often looked down upon. People don’t often take kindly towards them, especially if one has a disability like mine, which is heavily stigmatized. However, writing is one thing I can do (when I have the energy) and it’s something I love. So, I aim to continue doing that here if and when I can.

The past year has had its ups and downs. I started an online magazine which did pretty well but that I can’t keep up anymore. I tried to start an organization, but I simply cannot do the work necessary to follow through. It’s not my choice to be disabled. I simply am. All the evidence here will show I tried my darndest to be anything but disabled. My family can attest to my disability and the evidence–as well as my family and friends–can testify to my constant desire to try to keep plodding through.

This isn’t a pity party. This is how I feel right now.

For now, I leave you with this image I found on the internet. I post it partly tongue-in-cheek. But it’s how I will be remembered, having been a pretty good philosopher, an award-winning poet, and a “failure” nevertheless.

Poll: Guaranteed Jobs

There’s been talk recently about the idea of guaranteed jobs. The idea is that anyone who wants a job is, well, guaranteed one. This idea has been floated by many on both sides of the political spectrum. It’s even proposed by a philosopher who is running for Congress.

On one hand, I think, well, we should be working less, not demanding more jobs for everyone. On the other hand, I think, coupled with a shorter work week and a Basic income, guaranteed jobs may be a great thing.

So, what do you think? Should we have guaranteed jobs?

Coming Soon

She Works Hard For The Money

Lately, I’ve been thinking about money. And I’ve been thinking about working. As readers know, I tried working last month. It turned out really bad for me.

But as kids graduate high school and college this time of year and they start turning to the job market, I’ve began really thinking about whether it’s even just to require that people work–literally work–for the basic necessities of life. This is especially true in America, where we have the ability to provide things to people without them having to work.

I’ve thought a lot about things like Basic Income. And it’s not just the automation issue that motivates me. It’s the fact that in order to have any necessities of life–let alone luxuries–people must toil for “the man.”

Currently, the workplace and the culture of work permeates our society. People try–and sometimes fail–to climb the ladder of “success.” And “success” is often measured by one’s ability to perform certain tasks for a business.

When did we forget to enjoy our lives? When did we stop thinking that leisure time was “extra” and not a requirement?

I know many people who work 40 hours or more each week. 40 freakin’ hours. Or more. This is at a time when Keynes anticipated a 20 hour work week. Imagine: 20 hours of work and the rest for what you will. That sounds a lot more like it. (Granted, I still don’t know if I’d be capable of such activity.)

We need to remember Keynes’ vision–his projection. It was based on the fact that the American worker is so productive that all we really even need is a 20 hour work week. It’s well-known that pushing people over that threshold of productivity leads to waste, boredom, burnout, and more. The 40 hour work week is bunk and needs to go.

Let’s replace the current standard. Let’s advocate for a shorter work week. Let’s advocate for a Basic Income. Let’s take pride in leisure instead of work. In the end, your body, mind, spirit, family and friends will thank you. And you will have more time for hobbies and developing yourself focused on things other than marketability.

I Gave It My Best Shot

I just got off the phone with Social Security to report that I have stopped working. Some people in my life know that last month, April, I tried to work. And I really tried.

I ended up in bed for a week and a half. Utterly exhausted, I wasn’t showering or brushing my teeth and I was quickly going downhill mentally.

This was my best shot at working.

Psychiatrists have told me not to work. My counselor has told me not to work. But I got to feeling that perhaps I could work, so I tried. Well, I hate to say it, but the psychiatrist and counselor are correct. I cannot work.

I have done my best to tie up loose ends and get myself back to where I was before I started working–focused on self-care, fitness and keeping myself healthy.

Some people just cannot work. I guess I happen to be one of them.

Housing Insecurity In Florida: A Proposed Solution

Florida has the third highest rate of homelessness in the United States. About 40% of people who experience homelessness have a disability. There are some things available for people who experience housing insecurity, but not a whole lot to help people get on their feet. There’s not many places that will offer a home outright to people who stay in shelters or people with very low incomes.

I have studied Universal Basic Income (UBI). Through the test trials that have been done on UBI, we have learned that most people actually spend the money on things they need. What’s more, Finland offers homes to people who experience homelessness and has seen a significant drop in homelessness because of this. It was with these things in mind that I decided to start a new nonprofit to help those who experience housing insecurity, Housing Initiative of Florida.

We are a Housing First organization that will be offering grants to those who experience housing insecurity. We are in our pre-launch phase right now. Our goal is to help solve the issue of housing insecurity. Our mission is to provide a pathway to homeownership to at-risk residents of Florida. Grants will be issued to eligible residents of Florida to purchase a home in Florida.

This is a way to get people off the streets permanently. It may seem like a radical idea to some, but the obvious solution of giving people homes or money to purchase a home is one that has rarely been tried in the United States. Yet, in the places it has been tried, it has been shown to work. This audacious plan is required to keep people off the streets. We hope you’ll join us in meeting our mission and serving the communities we love.

(Originally posted a The New Floridian.)

Housing First and Housing Initiative of Florida

I specialized in ethics when I studied philosophy. There’s many aspects of ethics and one of them is adequate housing.

I’ve recently written about housing here. It’s not an issue I’ve covered a lot on my blog, but it’s an issue I’ve discussed elsewhere quite a bit.

As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, NPR did a yearlong report on the need for housing and housing first initiatives. Housing first initiatives, in general, see the need for independent, safe housing as prior and separate to others things, such as mental health treatment and substance abuse treatment. Housing first sees housing as a basic right for individuals and doesn’t pre-suppose treatments or other “strings-attached” when it comes to getting a place to stay.

I’ve been an advocate of housing first for several years. Now I’ve decided to do something about it. I’m starting a nonprofit to help at-risk individuals gain a pathway to homeownership. You can check us out here.

Help End The Affordable Housing Crisis

If you happen to live in a safe and secure home, you’re incredibly lucky. For millions of people, it’s just not possible. People with disabilities, battered and abused women and children, people with substance abuse disorders–they all, typically, struggle with finding a place to live, let alone a home of their own.

I grew up with an abusive father, as many people know. He battered my mom. For a while, I stayed in a shelter for abused women with my mom when I was young.

The struggle for many people to find their own place–a safe and affordable home of their own–is all too real. That’s why I’ve taken the time to do some research on this and try to come up with a solution: to create a non-profit that enables people to purchase a quality–but inexpensive–home of their own in Florida.

Take a minute to read about the issue of Housing First.

UPDATE: For those who think HUD is the answer, check out this article on HUD. The problem goes beyond Ben Carson.

Why UBI Should Become A Key Issue For Political Platforms

It’s estimated that about 7 million jobs will be lost due to automation over the next 10 years. Many of these jobs are cashier and general retail jobs. Already, Walmart has stores that are completely cashier-free. The savings in having automation is partly what drives these advances.

Many people worry about lost jobs. And the people hit hardest–if we don’t do something–is and will continue to be low wage earners.

A UBI is a solution that nips this right in the bud.

It’s time for UBI to become a more mainstream idea.

I first read about UBI over 8 years ago in graduate school. Back then, it was an idea in the philosophy world that didn’t seem to gain much traction. I liked it, however. So much so that I became an advocate for UBI, having volunteered for Basic Income Earth Network and written about the success of UBI-like programs used by Native American tribes.

Most of the arguments for UBI fit nicely within the capitalist framework. So don’t let anyone tell you it’s a form of socialism or communism. There are various proposals to funds a UBI and current estimates are that a UBI–one that really only covers basic needs–would be about $800-1,000 per person per month.

This is not nearly enough to live The American Dream, but it’s enough to keep people from going hungry.

There’s plenty of justification for UBI. The idea has been fleshed out enough over the years that there are more than enough arguments for it.

The real questions are those yet to be asked and answered, such as: At what age does a UBI begin? 18 years old? Or working age (16)? How will a UBI be funded? Exactly how much should a UBI be?




Some Normative Reflections on AI

We expect artificial intelligence (AI) to be smart. We may even expect it to be smarter than us. Technology, after all, has an aura of intelligence around it in general and AI, perhaps, even more so.

I want to examine some of the underlying normative aspects applied to AI. In particular, I want to ask: if our goal is to simulate human beings, shouldn’t we look for things such as flaws in thinking, bias, and, maybe even more controversial, psychological disabilities?

Currently in the United States, about 1 in 4 people have or will experience psychological disability. That’s quite a lot of people with quite a lot of “symptoms.” It’s still very taboo to talk about psychological disability. It’s perhaps worse to be seen as “endorsing” it.

However, a very brilliant philosopher of mind once told me that, “If you understand schizophrenia, you understand the whole of the human mind.”

Perhaps that is so. It does seem to people who try to “unlock the black box of schizophrenia” are trying to peer into the deepest parts of the human psyche. However, many attempts to open this black box using a biomedical model seem to have failed. That leaves us, then, with psychosocial accounts of psychosis, of which I am currently persuaded.

Famously, some philosophers have argued we simply cannot program for natural language. As AI becomes more and more real, it seems these arguments may be invalid. Moreover, others have argued we cannot program wisdom or emotions. These things, too, seem to be coming closer and closer to our understanding.

What I want to look at, however, is the attempt by some to create “superhumans” with AI. These “superhumans” do not necessarily need emotion, they don’t rely on bias at times, and they simply do not experience psychosis. These are considered “flaws.”

If the goal is to simulate humans, these efforts, of course, fail. If the goal is to create an uberman, they may succeed.

I want to question the assumption that we should be creating “superhumans” when we create bots. I want to argue that creating a genuine human mind artificially is not only “good enough,” it may be better than our superhuman efforts.

The human mind is still something that researchers still look at, examine and query about. It is amazing–even with its “flaws.” Consider my example. My mind has, at various times, produced visual, auditory and tactile hallucinations. We still do not know how these things precisely occur. If we did, we’d have a “cure” for so-called schizophrenia.

Current psychosocial theories suggest that people who experience psychosis are far more likely to have experienced trauma. We know, then, that trauma, such as child abuse or neglect, is highly correlated with the experience of psychosis. If trauma is the cause in some people, we still don’t know how the mind produces hallucinations. Making a bot, then, that can not only experience the harshness of trauma, but can, if all the horrific conditions are met, produce hallucinations, would be a feat in understanding not only the human mind but the bot mind.

Why program for “vulnerabilities,” you may ask? I attest that when people experience psychological disabilities, like psychosis, they are a testament to the fact that something, whatever it is, has gone horribly, horribly wrong. In other words, there has been some deep transgression that has caused the mind to produce what we consider “abnormal” activity. Users of AI–or, perhaps, fellows, friends and partners to AI–need to see these things produced in order to know that something has gone horribly wrong.

What this means is that we will have to treat AI the same way we treat humans both legally and ethically. A transgression toward a bot would be the same as a transgression toward a human.

If you are looking, then, to create an uberman that you can do with as you wish, who will be at your beck and call, who will fight for you, learn for you and do your various bidding, you may not want to consult me.

If, on the other hand, you see humans as “good enough” as they are–even with their “flaws”–and you wish to produce more of them, learn about them and replicate them in the form of hardware, I’m the person you’re after.


Transcending My First Memory

I’m going to share with you some things that have been kept quiet in my family for many years. It starts with my first memory. My first memory is of my dad beating my mom. It’s a sad memory and I’ve rarely told it to many people. I can still see my mom, in desperation, trying to fend off my dad.

We never talked much about abuse in my family, but it regularly occurred. It’s time to shine a light on this and move forward.

I am a survivor of traumatic neglect and a witness to domestic violence and child abuse.

I was a quiet and somber child, very observant. I rarely got in trouble. I also experienced a lot of anxiety.

At about the age of 8, I was asked by a judge who I wanted to live with–mom or dad–as my parents went through a divorce. I picked my mom. I thought this would be better and in some ways it was. However, my mom soon married another abusive man, who not only chased her around the room with an ax, but who also abused, in various ways, my two younger brothers.

As a bystander, as a child, I didn’t know what I could do. But when the man my mom married came into my room and told me to pull down my panties, I knew what to do. I pushed him off the bed. But there was little I could do to prevent the abuse happening to my mom and brothers. Occasionally, the man my mom married would want us other kids to participate in abuse and torment. I always refused.

The man my mom married died in a blizzard. I’m sure this was sad for my mom, but it was liberating for me. I attended his funeral and, when a box of Kleenex was passed to me, I looked at it like, “What do I need this for?”

However, I had to live with my dad again for a while. It was during this time I experienced neglect. I was about 12 years old. Although my dad sometimes cooked–and I remember the things he did cook–there was often very little in the fridge. I remember ketchup sandwiches. I even remember stealing money from my dad to buy food from Taco Delight.  Some of my friends’ parents noticed these things and reported them to my mom, who was doing her best to tie up loose ends with the man who had died in the blizzard.

When I was about 13, while living back with my mom, I experienced my first bout of extreme sadness. It was depression.

At 14, I became pregnant. I also moved to a different state–Florida.

Florida has a law which states that every county has to have a school for teen parents. I attended one–now called The Chiles Academy. Of course, I gained a high school diploma, but I also took parenting classes and learned about various kinds of abuse and neglect. I tried to raise my daughter differently from how I was raised. I went by the book. I never, ever wanted her to experience the things I experienced.

My time at The Chiles Academy was great. My relationship with my daughter, I think, was great. After four years–and after meeting many different politicians and leaders–I graduated with a high school diploma.

I decided to go to college. I applied for Daytona Beach Community College (now, Daytona State College). I did fairly well in all my classes–except Math. However, I decided I was ready to transfer, so I applied to Stetson University. I was accepted.

Being a non-traditional, working class, commuter student at Stetson was, well, different. I didn’t come across many other students with my background. Very few of them could related to the experiences of being a young parent.

And, all the while, I was barely treated for the abuse and neglect I experienced growing up.

However, even though I didn’t make too many friends on campus, I did find solidarity and support in the campus culture. Many Stetson faculty, staff and students are involved in the community and social justice activities. I got involved in social justice issues.

I wrote two theses: one on facial affect (for psychology) and one on colonialism (for philosophy).

Not long after I graduated undergrad, my dad got sick with cancer. I had to travel back to Texas to deal with his death.

Soon, I applied for graduate school at the University of North Florida. While there, I did very, very well in academics, teaching and research.

Still I had not gotten help for my abuse.

I had learned to be distant from my feelings. I didn’t take time to process things and transcend them. However, I spoke out about injustice toward anyone else whenever I could. This was empowerment for me. It was as if I was making up for all the times I couldn’t do anything for my brothers and mom. I sometimes wonder if other people who are passionate about social justice are survivors like me.

While in graduate school, I had my first experience of psychosis. Of course, the current routine is: drug them up and hospitalize them.

I wasn’t seen as a survivor of horrific things who had accomplished so much. I was seen as a “schizophrenic.”

New research sheds light on the traumatic experiences people have which lead to psychosis. Instead of seeing these as “ill people” with an “incurable brain disease,” we should look at them as potential survivors of domestic torment and adversity. After all, if you don’t think I experienced adversity, you don’t know the statistics on teen moms. Merely graduating high school is a very real accomplishment for people with my background, let alone going on to college and grad school.

If you glance around my portfolio, you’ll find I have indeed accomplished a lot. My most recent accomplishment is what I’m doing now: transcending my negative childhood experiences.



A Note About This Blog

This blog is my personal blog. It’s in no way a professional blog. This is where I try out ideas, post more personal things and try on different hats. If you’d like to see my more professional work, I encourage you to check out my posts at the Florida Student Philosophy Blog. I hope you take the posts here with the spirit they are intended and with a grain of salt. This is, after all, my little playground for thoughts and ideas.

A Couple More Pounds Down

This morning I weighed myself, like I usually do, and noticed I dropped a couple more pounds. I’m not stressing over my weight. It’s a different game this time around. And it’s starting to flow naturally.

On Logic and My Favorite Bookstore

A while back, I went to my favorite bookstore in DeLand, Florida. There, I got the book Logic and Philosophy: A Modern Introduction.

Even though I don’t teach logic anymore, it’s important to keep up the skills. This little textbook has exercises to do to keep me sharp. I work logic problems throughout the week.

My favorite bookstore, as I said, is located in DeLand, Florida–the city I went to undergrad in. It’s a quaint little city and a quaint little, independent bookstore: The Family Book Shop of DeLand. I highly recommend going there if you happen to find yourself in DeLand.

Stalking Awareness

Last month was National Stalking Awareness Month. So I learned a bit about it.

In general, stalking is defined as any unwanted attention directed toward a person or group. Women are more likely to be victims of stalking than men–and stalking is a behavioral indicator that can lead to violence.

I have friends who have been serious victims of stalking in recent months. Because of that, I have also taken some precautions of my own, learning from them.

UPDATE: Please also see the Wiki on Cyberstalking.

Bye, Bye, Christianity.

I have been going to church and involved in Bible study for over a year now. After some consideration–and really trying–I’ve decided Christianity is not for me.

My counselor agrees that I shouldn’t delve too deeply into it, too. There’s a fine line between craziness and spirituality. I don’t want to blur those lines, wherever they may be.

So, bye, bye, Christianity. You helped me get through some things and I will always appreciate it.

On Stigma

Stigma–or, rather, discrimination–regarding mental illness is very common. Most people, alas, are unaware of the stereotypes and biases they hold in their head regarding mental illness.

I have been an advocate against stigma and discrimination for several years. I’ve seen far too many instances of bias and discrimination. I couldn’t help but be an advocate.

I have volunteered with organizations and have watched others grow. The organization I am currently watching–and it’s one to look out for–is Students With Schizophrenia. Founded by Cecilia McGough (Penn), Students With Schizophrenia aims to assist and help college students diagnosed with schizophrenia. Look for Students With Schizophrenia at a campus near you.

Four Pounds in Five Days

It’s been 5 days since I started my new diet and exercise regimen. So far, I have lost 4 pounds.

I am taking this routine a little simpler than I have in the past. There’s no pressure to lose weight, no external forces weighing upon me to shed pounds. It’s simply something I want to do–and if it doesn’t happen, so be it.

As I said before, I’m much more laid back than I have been in the past. This new-found peace is much more healthy than attitudes I’ve previously had.

Weight Loss And Fitness

I’m in therapy. My therapist makes me do actual work. I get cognitive behavioral therapy. One thing I’m supposed to do is take at least one walk per day. Because it’s been cold, I have stopped that routine. As a result of that and the holidays, I gained a few pounds. So I’m ramping up my weight loss and fitness goals. I re-installed SparkPeople on my phone this morning. It helps me track my calories and exercise. Here’s a before picture of me. Let’s hope I can meet my fitness goals!