Maybe I’m Paranoid, Maybe I’m Not

I read an article a few weeks ago about people who are diagnosed with schizophrenia in the UK. Apparently, many of them thought the British government was spying on them. It turned out, this wasn’t paranoia. The British government was in fact spying on them.

Our governments do strange and evil things. This is well-known. Anything, it seems, to preserve the status quo.

If you’ve been following my recent blog entries and know about my new collection of essays, perhaps you can understand why, sometimes, I get slightly paranoid that my government is out to get me.

I’m not saying I don’t have schizophrenia. I most certainly do. But I’m saying that some instances of my paranoia are related to real things that have happened to people.

I know I’m not all that important. I know I probably can’t organize a movement to bring the United States toppling down–even if that was my goal, which it’s not. But I also know the United States held Dorothy Parker as suspect for some of her activities, to which she told the FBI that she couldn’t even keep her dog in line, so how could she organize some mass movement against the United States?

Some of these fears people have are real.

I’m not, in the end, a troublemaker. I want to live my life peacefully and with as little trouble as possible. I’m certainly no menace to the United States. But I do sometimes get paranoid because I know our government’s history. It wasn’t, after all, too long ago that Edward Snowden told us about certain spying activities our government is doing.

In the end, it’s best to be individually transparent–for both practical and ethical reasons. That’s one reason I started blogging my ideas. If they seem radical to you and worthy of being called a traitor, I’m sorry for you. I’ve never been a traitor to my country. I only want it to be just and good. Oppressing Native Nations isn’t, I’m afraid to say, just and good. Therefore, I’ve been using my voice and education to end those things.

To be honest, I am more politically active about these things than some Native people I know and love. And I’m perfectly willing to bear the brunt of these things. I know I want a peaceful life filled with joy and good times. How much more do they want those things? So, I let them have at it and deal with my little paranoias all by myself.