In 2018, I was pining away for someone I loved. Well, I thought it was love. To be honest, I had been extremely, intensely emotional. I felt things deeply and powerfully. However, I also felt them immaturely. I felt unrequited in my love. I turned to poetry to try to rid myself of these feelings. I wrote 12 poems, most about this love. I recorded them on my computer. I even made them into a CD. I thought that getting these feelings out of me and into the world would help me work through them.
Basically, I was wrong. Writing and recording the poems didn’t help me get over this person. What helped me was working on myself: reflection, processing, healing, growth. Maybe writing these poems helped some, but not much.
I still love this person, but I do not pine over them anymore. And I’m happy for them to define our relationship now. I respect what boundaries they set. I have learned more about them as a unique individual. What’s more, I think they may be waaaaay out of my league because they are eons more brilliant, wise and knowing than I am.
Unrequited love hasn’t always been discussed in philosophy. But it does indeed happen. And it does show up in literature. In my case, I think I just wasn’t mature enough to accept someone else’s free will. Yet, there is still something to this love: I fully believe that really loving someone is about how they are unique, irreplaceable and valuable. You can see that in someone and them not see that in you. The valuation isn’t always mutual. That’s life.
I have uploaded as many of these poems as I could here. I am not happy with them, but I am leaving them for people interested in these things.
I have always thought there’s often better philosophy in songs than journal articles. I had been thinking about that a lot at the time I wrote these poems, which is why I named the collection “Songs that Remind Me of Philosophy.”
I have had to omit about two poems because my upload space was limited.
I hope you enjoy them.