For better or for worse, one’s family of origin shapes how one behaves and how one sees oneself and the world for a veritable lifetime. It’s with that in mind that I thought I’d share some thoughts that are a spin-off from a comment I gave to the ever-amazing Ritika Puri earlier today. Ritika asked what would help make America better. I say: Start with the children.
I haven’t discussed this with my daughter yet, but I’m sure she’d be fine with it. However, I fully intend to help raise loving, compassionate and caring grandchildren. They are twin boys of color and I have every intention of kissing them, hugging them and helping them be in touch with their feelings as they grow up. A loving, nurturing family that shows affection and respect is essential for the feeling of wholeness every human being needs. Most people do not get this from their family and this leads to all kinds of things, including some mental illnesses and addiction disorders.
None of us are perfect, but if you want a stable, secure and healthy country, I say start with the children. It’s typically people who are abusers who go on to abuse in life, family, the workplace and in policy. A healthy sense of self can extend to healthy workplaces, healthy lives and healthy policies thus leading to a healthy country.
If you have children in your life, love them up! Respect their minds and bodies. Teach them to respect others and be considerate to the feelings of others. In time, the terrible things we now see in our country may slowly disappear as a healthier generation springs up. This doesn’t happen overnight. This is a long-term investment. And it may require you to work on yourself, too, in order to provide the nurturing and support you must give to children.
Every bad actor I have found has some deficiency of self they are making up for. Abuse of all kinds may slowly go away when we train up children with the feeling of completeness they require.